:. shiver me timbers .:

As if we don't have enough to worry about, it seems piracy is making a comeback.
I'm not talking about illegally downloaded movies. These are the Blackbeard, walk the plank, yo-ho-ho-and-a-bottle-of-rum kind of pirates.

If I remember my U.S. history (and I do), one of the main reasons this country built up its navy in the 19th century was to protect merchant ships from Barbary coast pirates.

The 19th century, for crying out loud.

Besides being blood-thirsty cutthroats, pirates are sneaky, too. They lay low for 200 years, then just when everyone is lulled into a false sense of security, they attack.

Yar.

:. hilarious or horrifying? you decide .:

So I was at the mall today, minding my own business, when I was approached by two little old ladies. (I have that kind of face; strangers ALWAYS talk to me.)
It seems they were in town for the day from Eagle Grove, just down to do a little shopping. They were both somewhere the other side of 80, sweet little old ladies, all dressed up.

"Excuse me", one of them said to me with a smile, "could you tell us where to find Victoria's Secret?"

yup.

:. good medicine .:

It is a medical fact that laughter is good for you.
A good hearty laugh can help:
reduce stress
lower blood pressure
boost your immune system
improve brain function
protect the heart

Laughter also triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, as well as providing a workout for the diaphragm and increasing the body's ability to use oxygen.

The idea that laughter is beneficial to our health is nothing new. Sometime around 950 BC Solomon, king of Israel, wrote, "A cheerful heart is good medicine."

I know life isn't always easy. I know that at times we are called upon to bear unspeakably heavy burdens. There is nothing funny about cancer, or autism, or financial woes.

There is a wonderful description in The Grapes of Wrath of one of the main characters. Steinbeck writes, "It was her habit to build up laughter out of inadequate materials." If you know anything at all about the Dust Bowl (or the Joad family), you'll understand the magnitude of that sentence.

My own mother is a real-life example of someone who has used laughter as a means of getting through some very dark times. She has had more heartache in her life than the average person, yet maintains a wonderful sense of humor.
It is precisely because life can be hard that we need to capitalize on the lighter moments.

Jesus warned us that this life would be full of troubles. However, He didn't leave us without any hope. In the same breath He says, "Take heart! I have overcome the world."

For the most part, we take ourselves - and life - far too seriously. We need to realize that we are loved by a sovereign God, and our eternal outlook far outweighs even the deepest troubles of this life.


And now, a healthy dose of good medicine from a few of America's funniest men:


Steven Wright -
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

My school colors were clear. "I'm not naked, I'm in the band."

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child eventually.


Jack Handey -
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.

Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname 'Fly Head'. Normally, you would think that 'Fly Head' would mean a person who had beautiful swept-back features, as if flying though the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean 'having a head like a fly'? I'm afraid some people might actually think that.

It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.

I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?

Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I don't care who hears me, because I am beautiful.


Demetri Martin -
I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to use the word ‘fortnight.’

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything.

If you have a pear shaped body, you should not wear pear colored clothes, or act juicy.

I was in a store and I saw a pocket dictionary and that made me laugh because it’s such a specific item. I don’t know that many words and I’m going out…and I have pants. Perfect!


And one final thought from Jack Handey:
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.


Have a grand day!

:. lady! this could be you! .:

Now that the election is over, I can finally concentrate on creating the personality I've always desired. No more excuses! I WILL learn how to sit beautifully!

:. necessary .:

If I were to make a list of things that are absolutely necessary to my day, a steaming pot of coffee would have to start things off. Also on the list would be things like food, family time, brushing my teeth, and being able to cross an item or two off my to-do list.

If the day in question happened to be, say, a Thursday, then catching The Office would also make the list. Toss in the occasional friend time, shopping trip, or redecorating project, and that pretty much looks like a typical day.

There's a woman in the Bible named Mary; she was Lazarus' sister and lived in Bethany. She is mentioned three times in the gospels, and all three times she is in the exact same place: at the feet of Jesus. Listening to what He said . . . falling at His feet because her heart was broken . . . anointing His feet in an extravagant act of worship.

In one of the accounts (Luke 10:38-42) Mary is sitting at Jesus' feet, drinking in His every word. Her sister Martha is hustling and bustling around, acting all hostess-y ("more coffee? how 'bout another cookie?"), but she complains that Mary isn't lifting a finger to help. She actually says, "Lord, don't you care? Tell her to help me!"

The amazing thing is that Jesus gently lets her know that it is Mary who is doing the right thing here . . . Martha is simply distracted. Mary has "chosen what is better".

And then Jesus says this: "only one thing is necessary."

Let me repeat that: only one thing is necessary.

One thing.

Sitting at Jesus' feet, spending time with the Savior, learning from Him, listening to His voice . . . THAT is the one thing essential to our lives.

Wow.

Time to rethink my day.