IN A MIRROR DIMLY

:. 2011: a short history .:

2011-12-31T17:16:00.000-06:00

So very hard to believe we are wrapping up another 365-day span. Don't want to sound too ancient here, but my, oh my, how the days/weeks/months fly by!
I know I've been a most pathetic blogger this year; my thoughts have been scattered and my heart has been elsewhere.
Oh, and I've been a bit busy as well.
But I would like to at least mention for posterity some of the highlights of the past year.

* biggest and BEST news: Sloanie B. decided to join our family. Josh, Em and boys are blessed and delighted to finally have occasion to pull out the ruffles and tutus. Thanks, guys, for adding such a sweet princess to the Hulling mix.

* and along those lines, the news that Chris and Katie will be adding a BOY in March to their already tutufied household. There's nothing better than waiting for a baby to be born!

* to add to the beauty of a new Saldanha baby was the announcement that C, K and fam would be moving to Des Moines in 2012! Woo-hoo on that one! They are coming to be part of a church plant, so I'm expecting God to use them and bless them. (and naturally, we, their family, will be blessed to have them here.)

* Benny has adjusted pretty well to life on disability. I've never seen his workshop look cleaner! He's on the verge of turning out some amazing projects.

* I decided to give up cooking. THAT'S a relief!

* my business has boomed. What started out as an infinitesimally small venture is now what I'd consider a micro business. I have about as much work as I can handle and still enjoy it.

* my garden spent yet another season in overgrown disarray. I'm wondering if I'll ever have the energy to tend it as if it were my Eden?

* all my grands continue to delight and amaze. I seriously have the most beautiful, sweetest, funniest grandchildren in the world. [Just glance to your right if you don't believe me!]

* my God continues to uphold me with His tender right hand. He remains faithful even when I am not. He blesses, He provides, He strengthens. All because I am His. Abba, Father. How lovely to say those words.

I truly hope you have seen God at work in your life this past year. If you somehow missed it, I'd suggest you take a closer look. I'm pretty sure you've not really been left alone.

May 2012 bring you joy and peace!

:. for unto us .:

2011-12-24T11:44:00.003-06:00

Why Christmas?

Because the King of the Earth threw off His royal robes and humbly, willingly, stepped into the skin of man. And the world rejoices at the sound of a newborn's cry: God has come to save His people.

Emmanuel.

God is with us.

Right here.

Right now.

For you.

:. moms .:

2011-10-10T09:00:00.004-05:00

"Like all mothers, mine was beautiful."

That is a very memorable quote from a very forgettable memoir I read years ago. It has stuck with me all this time, nicely capturing the feeling most of us have for our moms.

[I realize we live in a sin-cursed world. I realize there are some BAD moms out there - neglectful, abusive, mean, or apathetic. But for the most part, moms are pretty wonderful creatures.]

Moms are generally patient, nurturing and loving. A mom has eyes in the back of her head, knows all, sees all . . . and quickly forgives all. A mom is understanding, sympathetic, a good listener, and has the coziest lap in the world. There is nothing like her. And yes, moms make mistakes, and get tired, and lose their patience, and sometimes even (heaven forbid!) get a little cranky. So what? They're human.

But this blog isn't about moms in general. It's about my mom.

I truly do have a beautiful mom. She is generous, kind and loving. She is funny, warm and an absolute blast to be around. She has had more than her share of heartache, but has always maintained a positive attitude. She finds humor in the everyday things of life. She raised ten children (did you catch that?? TEN!) without a whole lot of help. (And if I do say so myself, we are all pretty awesome adults.) She instilled in us a reverence for God - her source of strength. She is the original SuperWoman.

Today is her 80th birthday, and she is as beautiful and awesome as ever. She works part-time, she drives a sweet little car, she likes to kick back with a beer. She loves a good laugh, and is hilarious herself. She is still the selfless, loving, encouraging mom of my childhood.

Mom, you are AMAZING, and I love you very much. I hope I can be just like you when I'm 80.

:. oh, look, it's a blog post .:

2011-09-03T15:11:00.002-05:00

I make no excuses for not blogging more. If you've been paying attention, I've already made my excuses.

For today, simply an observation:

Never give up on anything with roots.

It's true in gardening, true in life.

:. happily ever after .:

2011-08-02T07:09:00.002-05:00

monterrey, mexico • july, 1996

Happy Anniversary, Josh and Emily! 14 years . . . wowza! May God grant you the unconditional love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things. May you always be aware of the precious gift you've been given, never taking each other for granted. May you stay strong in your devotion to one another, and in your devotion to your Savior. May God give you strength in the hard times, a thankful spirit in the good times, and joy always. May you continue to raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, giving them a secure foundation for their futures. Thank you for the example you have been to so many, modeling the extreme love of Christ for His Church. Wishing you many, many blessings in the years to come!

:. s words for $500 .:

2011-05-17T13:53:00.006-05:00

Oh, yikes. It started out as just another Special Day With Grandma. But then poor Liam caught the business end of a sword, and, well, like I said: yikes.
And no, of course it wasn't a real sword. And yes, that is a fat lip. A fat lip and three stitches.
Yikes.

Anyone else care to spend a Special Day With me??

:. phew! .:

2011-05-15T07:47:00.019-05:00

My goodness, does life never slow down?!? So much has happened in my little corner of the world lately. Here's the run-down in paragraph form:

my eye surgery went well [no dangling sutures needed!] • so now I no longer see two of everything, and that's wonderful, indeed • but shortly after that, benny and I spent 7 hours in the ER • which ended with him having an appendectomy at 4 a.m. • he then spent 3 days in the hospital trying to bounce back • which unceremoniously began his life on disability • because his Parkinsons just wasn't allowing him to be able to continue working • so now he's trying to figure out what to do with the rest of his life • and I remember that displaced feeling when I was faced with an empty nest all those long years ago • so I know just what he's going through • it's definitely going to be an adjustment after spending the last 40 years of his life going off to work every day, being a 'productive member of society' • but something I learned long ago is that being a 'productive member of society' doesn't always involve receiving a paycheck • so I'm certain he'll soon realize what a treasure it is to be able to spend his time doing things he wants to do • he mentioned, for instance, that he's always wanted to volunteer somewhere • and that would be awesome • and hopefully he'll also get himself back down to his workshop and create some beauty, now that he has the time to work at his own 'park-pace' [I just made that term up. pretty dang good, I'd say] • and speaking of creating, I have recently branched out with my purse business • I am repurposing burlap coffee bean bags into some pretty sweet items • so look for purses, book covers, wallets and etc at Tandem Brick Gallery or your nearest Grounds for Celebration • (did I mention they're pretty sweet?) • and somewhere in the midst of all that, Miss Eisley turned ONE • her mommy and daddy hosted a wonderful garden party in her honor on Mother's Day • and can I just say I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate? (Mother's Day and her birthday?) • And Gavin is finishing up his first year of school • and as always, I'm so very proud of how hard he works at everything • Liam and Taterbug continue to amaze at how stinking funny they are • funny and sweet and thoughtful (yes, I love my boys!) • my garden is a mess, and so far I've planted absolutely nothing • and I probably won't because, well, have you not just read this far and seen how crazy life is right now? • and here's just a sample of my new bags . . . fun, funky and I realized how much I love the smell of jute!

so, thanks for reading.

:. stop crowding Jesus .:

2011-04-22T09:42:00.008-05:00

The woman awoke with the same sense of despair she'd known for the past dozen years. She could hardly find the strength to drag herself out of bed every morning. Her medical condition had only grown worse with the passage of time, in spite of seeing every specialist she could find. She'd spent every last penny on doctor after doctor, trying all the latest advances in medicine as well as every quack cure, only to be told, "There's nothing I can do for you."

After twelve years of suffering, she was out of money, and out of hope.

On this morning, she managed to get up and get dressed; the pantry was bare and she had no choice but to go to the market. Oh, how she dreaded being out in crowds! Her malady wasn't usually obvious to outsiders, but there had been those embarrassing times when the blood had gushed out, staining her clothes for all to see. It was painful; it was humiliating.

The market was busier than usual that day; something or someone was drawing a massive crowd at the end of the street. Curious, the woman carefully made her way to the edge of the crowd. She inched her way in until she could see what was causing all the commotion.

Standing in the middle was Jesus.

The woman had heard about him. Some said he was the One Who Was to Come, the Messiah. Others said he was Beelzebub himself. She'd heard stories of how he had healed with a word or a simple touch. One story going around was that this Jesus had actually brought a dead man back to life.

Whatever the truth was about him, here he was now, right in front of her. If she wanted to, she could reach out and touch him, he was that close.

Reach out and touch him . . .
If the stories were true . . . if he is the Messiah, the Son of God . . .
If he really could heal with just a touch . . .

There was certainty in her movement as she reached for him. She somehow knew that all she needed was a single touch to his cloak and her suffering would be over.

Her finger lightly brushed the back of his garment. She was instantly aware of healing surging through her ravaged body; she knew that at last she had been freed from her affliction. She felt like her old self, the one she'd long forgotten.

Jesus stopped short, looked around the crowd and asked, "Who touched me?" His followers thought he was joking. "Everyone is crowding in on you, and you ask who touched you? Seriously?"
But Jesus continued to search the crowd until his eyes met those of the woman. Trembling, she fell at his feet and admitted that it was she. With tenderness in his voice, Jesus said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." *

It is possible to stand right next to Jesus, but never touch Him in faith. It is possible to crowd around the Savior, but never be freed from our sin. It is possible to follow Him, but never allow Him to change us.
Don't make the same mistake the crowd made. Go ahead and touch Him . . . really touch Him in faith. You'll be amazed at the results.

*the original story can be found in Mark 5

:. boho hobos .:

2011-04-08T08:58:00.010-05:00

After spending the last several years learning how to make V.E.R.Y. structured bags, I suddenly find myself wanting to do some very unstructured sewing. The result: sort of 'bohemian meets urban meets shabby'.

(You think it doesn't KILL me to leave all those threads hanging?!?!??)

Available now at Tandem Brick Gallery.

:. under the knife and dreaming .:

2011-04-07T08:51:00.004-05:00

Lazy days are fabulous. Lazy eyes, not so much.

Thanks to my Graves Disease, I've been having a spot of trouble with my eyes for awhile now. [Yes, that's why I've been wearing the attractive prism on my attractive glasses; really attractive look, I know.]

If anyone reading this happens to be the praying type [and how on EARTH could anyone get along without??!??], then I would appreciate your prayers. On Monday I will be having my eyeballs cut into in order to (hopefully) be rid of this doubledouble visionvision thing once and for all. (See what I did there?)

I've been assured it's not a big deal (yeah, right.)

I've been assured the surgeon is pretty good at this (hope so. When he asked at my pre-op appointment if I had any questions, that's what I asked him, "So, are you good at this?" I was serious; he just chuckled.)

He might MIGHT leave some sutures hanging out of my eyes for a few hours so he can do some 'fine-tuning' later in the day.

Did you hear me?!? I said he might MIGHT leave some sutures hanging out of my eyes for a few hours so he can do some 'fine-tuning' later in the day.

What the WHAT?!?!??!?!?

Let's just hope the good doctor doesn't have a fight with his wife that morning. Or that he doesn't down a triple espresso right before he walks into the OR. Let's hope.

I've only had surgery one other time in my life . . . . eons ago I had my tonsils out. And my dear little sister said the other day she remembers me being really REALLY sick from the anesthetic. I don't remember that at all.

Great. Thanks, Mary.

Like I said, if you're the praying type, then I'd be grateful if you'd offer one (or two) up for me.

:. mission accomplished .:

2011-04-06T08:24:00.011-05:00

Sometimes I get an idea in my head and I can't let go of it; I just know I have to act. We have this old chair that I've been holding onto for Chris and Kate; it's headed for their basement family room. Out of the blue I decided I should reupholster it for them. Here's the deal: NEVER in my life have I reupholstered ANYTHING. But I look at all things crafty and think, "How hard could it be?!". After reading a couple of blogs on 'how to reupholster a wingback chair', I decided to go for it. [I honestly think if there was an online tutorial for brain surgery I'd probably attempt it.] So here's the lovely chair before (keep in mind my tastes have changed in the last 15 years!): Structurally quite sound, just tired, worn (and somewhat hideous!) fabric. So, off with the old!!

There's no turning back at this point. (And I found the anatomy of a chair quite interesting.) I also realized that sailors aside, reupholsterers probably cuss more than any other profession. [We are talking at least 15 MILLION staples that need to be removed!!] But after just a few days of work, and with the help of an air compressor and pneumatic staple gun, voila! A chair that Kate now says is going to go in their living room!!

Oh, yeah. The fabric I used? My new favorite: drop cloths from Sherwin Williams.

Fabulous for the french shabby look!

As I said, VOILA!

:. family togetherness .:

2011-03-31T12:17:00.005-05:00

Hoping to find one of these babies on Craig's List. At the very least, I think Benny could rig one up. It's always refreshing to see a family enjoying a favorite past time together; I think my own fam would really, really enjoy this. And JUST THINK of the projects I could get done!

(Now to find a "healthy" boy for the rear!)

:. spring ahead .:

2011-02-21T14:48:00.006-06:00

It'll be spring soon, and to help you get a jump on the season get yourself on over to Tandem Brick for one of these bright beauties. (Yes, that is, indeed, a ruffle.) C'mon, you know you want one!

:. meant for the garden .:

2011-02-11T07:21:00.009-06:00

Mmmmm, just look at this beautiful springtime bouquet Benny sent me for our anniversary. My house has smelled so wonderful all week! If you're lucky enough to have a scratch n' sniff monitor, go ahead: get close and inhale!!*

It is gorgeousness such as this, and what it does for the spirit, that proves we were originally meant for the garden. I can only imagine what Eden must have been like. Imagine God walking with you in the cool of the day, chatting about whatever is on your mind! (If you've never read Milton's Paradise Lost, may I suggest you go read it right now?)

And speaking of our anniversary, just look what my wonderful kids cooked up for us:

Besides a DELICIOUS dinner, which Emily literally cooked up for us, they bent their heads together and honored us with this beautiful family tree. The very talented Chris Saldanha did the artwork, with input from all. It's amazing, isn't it? (Any wonkishness in the picture is due to my photoshopping attempts to remove the flash. Crappy photographer, crappy editor. What can I say?) It looks stunning on my mantel, and every time I walk into the living room, it is a reminder of God's tremendous hand of blessing on my little family. It's perfect.

You know what else is perfect? The fact that Miss Eisley, on the very night we celebrated 35 years, decided then and there to crawl for the first time. Very thoughtful of the little lady!

*Editor's note: There is no such thing as a scratch n' sniff monitor. Don't you wish, though?

:. it's been awhile .:

2011-02-04T08:17:00.019-06:00

Holy guacamole, where did January go??!? [Good riddance, I say!] There are now only 44 days until spring!! My heart sings right along with Barney Fife:

"Welcome, sweet springtime, we greet thee in song!!"

So many things going on in my head. Think I'll just give them to you in bullet points:

◘ Wondering what the heck is going on in Egypt. So I went straight to my Egyptian friend and asked her: "What the heck is going on in Egypt?" Her response: "I dunno know." Thanks, Sylvia, for the insight.

◘ Pretty much loving sewing right now. And grommets. And rivets. I don't feel like a sewing project is complete until I've used a hammer.

◘ Realizing if I lived to be 120, I wouldn't come close to trying all the craft ideas I've seen/bookmarked/heard about.

◘ For the record: I.HEART.HEATED.SEATS.

◘ Saw two flickers at my bird feeder the other day. My stars, are they ever cool!

◘ Was just reminded of this powerful truth: "If God be for us, then who can be against us?" Yowza, my soul needed to hear that!

◘ Looking forward to celebrating our 35th anniversary tonight with my wonderful family. (I'm sure I'll post more on that later.)

◘ So proud of my Gav for all his hard, hard work in kindergarten. His mommy showed me some of his schoolwork from November, and compared it to papers he did in December. Oh, my, how far he's come in such a short time. What a champion!

◘ Benny started physical therapy. Hopefully it will help his balance and motor issues. Now if he could just be offered a nice early retirement package . . .

◘ I recently took some new designs over to Tandem Brick. (see picture above.) Run on over and take a peek! I'm loving the look of image transfers.

◘ Miss Eisley is almost mobile!! She's been working very, very hard at that crawling thing, and mommy reports that she has A.L.M.O.S.T. got it! Way to go, baby girl!

◘ I recently acquired a beautiful aviary cage for my little Mozart. I've always wanted to give him more space to FLY!! I also decided to get him a "friend", in the hopes that I would have little baby canaries fluttering about. But alas! they are not getting along. Dang. I might try again in 44 days. (Spring . . . when a young bird's fancy turns to . . . oh, never mind.)

◘ I realized I rarely listen to an entire CD. More like: skip, skip, track 3, skip, skip, skip, tracks 7 and 8, skip, track 10 . . . you get the idea. Guess I should just use iTunes.

and . . . that's all I've got.

*addendum:

◘ Liam and I saw A FOX the other day! He was just loping across the street, right in front of my car. (I think he was loping anyway.) We were pretty excited! I stopped the car and we watched him lope back into the trees and lope around. Lope, lope, lope. You'd think I lived in the Great North Woods instead of right smack in the middle of the city.

and now . . . that's really all I've got.

:. revelation .:

2010-12-30T22:25:00.001-06:00

Here we are, at the end of another year. Like any other, it held the good, the bad, the not-so-great. (There was also The Over The Top FANTASTIC: have you seen Eisley Christine??!??!)

But overall, it feels like the past 12 months for me, personally, have held more down than up. Been a bit of a struggle, shall we say? (It doesn't help that I've been sick for the past 6 weeks. Feeling like crap doesn't add to a rosy outlook.)

The end of the year means I'm finishing up another read-through of my favorite book, the Bible. Since I read straight through, that means come mid-December I hit Revelation. I freely admit, Revelation is a hard book: prophecy, visions, end of the world happenings. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go ahead and grab a Bible, turn to the last book, and give it a go. It's only 22 chapters. It will have your head spinning, I guarantee.

But I'm always struck by John's words at the very beginning of the book:

"Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near."

So while it might not be easy, it would be foolishness indeed to dismiss it.

But in the first three chapters, before you get to the jaw-dropping end-time scenes, you find Jesus' words to the seven churches. I always ask the Holy Spirit to reveal which words fit my own spiritual condition, which words He would speak to me.

And this year, there was no doubt. He gently held my heart, and said to me (as well as to the church in Philadelphia):

"I know that you have little strength, yet you have not denied my name . . . I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown."

Aaahh, my Savior understands.

But so as not to sound entirely pitiful, let me list some of the highlights of the past 12 months:

Josh continued to amaze with his dad skills.
Chris discovered how wonderful it is to be the daddy of a little girl . . . and started honing his dad skills
Emily continued to amaze with her mom skills.
Kate discovered how wonderful it is to be the mommy of a little girl . . . and started honing her mom skills.
Gavin started kindergarten . . . what a big kid.
Liam went to art school . . . cartwheel school was just too noisy.
Tate learned to walk . . . and do about everything else big boys can do.
Eisley decided to join the fam . . . and be the most beautiful girl around.
Josh continued to amaze with his handyman skills, improving his home for his family.
Emily continued to advocate for her eldest the way only a mother can, making sure he gets every and all help he needs.
Chris continued to amaze with his handyman skills, improving his home for his family.
Kate returned to the stage to use her talent the way only she can, delighting audiences everywhere with her singing and her dancing and her comedic genius.
Josh finished a mini-triathlon . . . wow.
Chris ran a half-marathon . . . wow.
Emily and Kate both chopped their hair . . . and showed young mums everywhere what hip and trendy looks like.
Gavin continued at Child Serve, working hard at things that come naturally to most of us . . . he's my hero.
Liam continued to come up with some of the funniest lines in comedy . . . without even trying.
Tate decided he's crazy about his littlest girl cousin . . . he and Eisie are going to be Best Friends.
Eisley learned absolutely everything she should learn in her first 7 months of life . . . she's the best.
my kids continued to love each other and their God with all they've got . . . perfect examples of godly families.
my grands continued to be the joy, delight and honey of my soul . . . whatever would I do without them?
and fighting mightily against a very debilitating illness, Benny put in one of the longest, hardest 12 months of work ever . . . because that is the kind of man he is.

Here's to a better 2011.

:. good gifts & great darkness .:

2010-12-23T07:28:00.026-06:00

I'm so very, very excited for Christmas morning! The bright, shining faces of the little ones; sugar plum visions dancing merrily; that oh, so delicious brunch awaiting! Yes, I love Christmas morning.
Besides all that, this year I seem to have found the perfect gifts for everyone on my list. For instance, I'm absolutely GIDDY, anticipating Gavin's face when he lays eyes on 'dark bunny' (the one thing he keeps telling mommy he really, really hopes he gets for Christmas).
[What is dark bunny, you ask? Doesn't matter. Suffice it to say, Gav has his heart set on it, and dark bunny is exactly what he shall get!]

Isn't it grand to know you've found just the right thing to give? The thing that will show the recipient just how much you love them?

I'm certain God the Father gets giddy, giving gifts to His kids. Scripture teaches that:

"Every good and perfect gift is from above,

coming down from the Father of lights."

Can't you just imagine Him being over-the-top excited as He unfolds His gifts in the lives of His beloved children?
I like what Jesus tells us:

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

And on a similar note, allow me to tell you a little story:

Years ago when the girls were little, we took a very rare (and therefore, treasured!) family vacation to Colorado. We spent a wonderful week in the glorious Rocky Mountains, seeing the sights, visiting with a dear uncle of mine, doing touristy things. One of the things we chose to do was visit Cave of the Winds.

We joined the tour, and wound our way deeeeeep inside a mountain. (It's been a long time, but I remember the tour guide mentioning something about being A MILE underneath the earth. A. MILE.)
Now, what you need to know is that THIS girl is so VERY claustrophobic. Ridiculously claustrophobic. Like the time I pulled up to a stop light, and happened to find myself with a city bus on either side of me. Panic set in, as in: OH MY STARS, GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!! Like I said, ridiculously claustrophobic.

But since I refuse to allow fear to dictate my actions, and since I wanted to be a part of this family adventure, I summoned all the intestinal fortitude I could muster, and joined the group heading into the mountain. Sure, we saw stalactites and stalagmites, and whatever other ites there are; sure, it was a very cool and unusual glimpse of creation you don't get everyday. But did I mention we were A MILE under the earth? And at one point, I recall, we had to actually get down on hands and knees and CRAWL through some tiny opening to get to the next point on our tour. SHUDDER!

But here's the whole point: we finally arrived in a largish cavern, and the tour guide very dramatically said she was going to switch off the lights so that we could experience just how dark it was in the cave. Out went the lights . . .

utter darkness. thick blackness. impenetrable night.

Which brings me to my all-time favorite verse of the season:

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of darkness

a light has dawned."

~ Isaiah 9:2 ~

Most of us aren't even aware of just how great is the darkness in which we live. We squint, we stumble, we get used to the dark. But the Light of the world has come and we no longer need to walk blindly.
God gave His most perfect gift when He sent Jesus into the world. May you know Him, in whom "there is no darkness at all."

Merry Christmas to all!

:. manger people .:

2010-12-15T08:39:00.010-06:00

Finally got the house decorated for Christmas last week. Of course the Nativity set is the most important element at our house (Jesus IS the reason for the season, after all). Ours certainly isn't fancy, but it's served well ever since the girls were little. They spent many an hour playing with the figures; we even saw the demise of the angel 'Maranatha'.

My little boys love the Nativity as well . . . they always ask if they can play with "the manger people". Well, of COURSE they can! That's the whole point of Christmas, that God came down to be accessible to His children.

So, here's what the manger looks like after they've spent the afternoon at my house:

(Those are "Santa Claus logs in the fireplace".)

So, what happened to the 'manger people'? Looks like they just went out for a little drive. (And yes, that's Baby Jesus driving the steam shovel.)

"That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of life."

1 John 1:1

:. tracks .:

2010-12-14T08:48:00.007-06:00

We had that first wonderful, glorious snowfall of the season the other day. Liam was quite excited to report that he saw TRACKS! in their front yard! I asked what sort of animal he thought made them, and after giving it a little thought he said, "Probably a giraffe".
"Really?! A giraffe??!"
"Or . . . maybe it was a camel."

How I wish we grown-ups never lost that sweet naiveté that assumes a camel could show up in the middle of Iowa. (And why not? I remember hearing about a polar bear that ended up in the middle of the Tunisian desert. But that's another story.)

Mommy quietly whispered to me that actually, the tracks were left by a squirrel.

Oh, the faith of a child, where anything is possible!

:. i might be contagious .:

2010-12-05T17:15:00.007-06:00

Josh took my picture today using the 'zombie scanner' app on his phone. Evidently I'm 80% infected. In fact, the scanner gave these instructions:

"Infection has gained control of host. Subject should be exterminated."

And here I thought I had bronchitis. No wonder I feel so awful.

:. in all circumstances .:

2010-11-23T07:02:00.010-06:00

I've been thinking a lot about thankfulness lately. And not just because it's Thanksgiving week.
A few months back, I caught myself doing something I hate: having a little pity party. And then I read these words in the book of Daniel:

"Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before."

[You can read the whole story for yourself; it's in Daniel 6. This one ends with the whole lions' den scene. Pretty amazing stuff.]

The three times a day thing really hit me between the eyes. I understand it was cultural, but I thought perhaps it would be interesting to try it myself as a sort of spiritual discipline. Because I realized if you're feeling sorry for yourself, there's no room left for thankfulness.

So, three times a day, I stopped whatever I was doing and headed to my room. Getting down on my knees, I mentally searched the previous hours until I found something to thank God for. I didn't take the easy way out and thank Him for family . . . that would've been too obvious and too casual. My desire was to see His hand in the thousands of tiny things of everyday, rather than focus on the giant 'woe-is-me' circumstances of my life.

So, how'd it go? Honestly, it was one of the hardest things I've ever attempted.
It was hard to stop whatever I happened to be doing those three times during the day. (Isn't that pathetic? I mean, seriously, what on earth do I do that's more important than turning my attention to God Almighty? Who, actually, do I think I am?).
It was hard to thank Him when my heart wanted instead to stay wrapped up in my cocoon of pity. (Again, pathetic.)
And I'm embarrassed to say that my little experiment in the discipline of thankfulness only lasted about a week. But being the loving Father that He is, God did gently peel away the layers of hurt and anxiety I was feeling and the pity party ended.

I've realized that the only way to 'be thankful in all circumstances' as we are commanded is to have FAITH.
FAITH that God is in control, no matter how bleak the outlook.
FAITH that this God who is in control also loves us with an everlasting love.
FAITH that whatever suffering we are called to do in this world is NOTHING compared with the glory that awaits us.
FAITH that He is bigger than any obstacle, greater than any darkness, and that His compassion never fails.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! May your faith outweigh your fear!

:. tombstone .:

2010-11-08T07:20:00.018-06:00

No, not the pizza. Not the movie. And not the town. I'm talking tombstone here, as in epitaph.

Maybe it's all the history and biographies I read that gets me to wondering what sort of legacy I'd leave, what people would say about me after I'm gone. Maybe it's hitting these middle years that causes you to evaluate your life: where you're going, what you've accomplished, what's left to do in the time allotted.

[And no, Katie, I'm not keeping something from you.]

Maybe it's the realization that every one of us will someday stand before the King of the universe and give an account of the way we've lived. Our designer clothes will be rags, the cars we've driven so proudly will be rust, our houses, our possessions, our treasures will all be a pathetic heap of ashes as we are at last before the Creator.

Gives one pause, to say the least.

Will I be remembered as someone who made a difference? or merely as someone who made some nice crafts?
Will people say, "She loved her God with her heart and soul"? or will they say, "She loved to garden"?
Will I be the woman who's remembered for her words of encouragement . . . or her sassy retorts?

There's a story in the Gospels about a woman who anointed Jesus with some very expensive perfume, a foreshadowing of His death. Those who were present grumbled about her wastefulness, but Jesus Himself praised her act, saying, "She did what she could."

Do I serve Jesus with extravagance, 'wasting' the earth's riches on my Lord and Savior?
Am I doing all I can to serve and obey Him?

At the end of the day, when I am standing before the Almighty God, I want to hear Him say,

"Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter into my joy."

What will your epitaph be?

:. the blogosphere, or, shut up, will you? .:

2010-10-14T11:51:00.016-05:00

I realize it's been a long time since I've ruminated aloud (a.k.a. "blogged"). There are a lot of reasons for that. It struck me awhile ago what a weird universe the blogosphere is. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has a blog. And for every person with something worthwhile to say, there are ten more with nothing to say . . . but they say it anyway. [I leave it to you, dear reader, to decide into which category I fall.]
I am definitely a fan of free speech, and if someone wants to spend time reading drivel, then more power to the drivel-writer. But I decided I will not blog unless I feel I have something of value to share. In short, I don't want to just add to the noise.

Another reason for not posting is the general overwhelmingness of life lately. I've been dang busy! A good busy, but busy nonetheless. I have myriad thoughts running through my head, (great blog-material all!), but not the time to sit down and formulate them into something readable.
And then there's the whole double-vision thing, and the prism on my lens which makes looking at the computer screen a bit dicey. Hopefully that will be taken care of soon, thanks to this guy and his connections with the wizards at Wolfe Clinic.

So I leave you with this (hopefully worthwhile) thought:
A lot of people who follow Christ seem to view serving God the same way they view their great-grandma's china: it's only to be brought out for special occasions. We say we want to serve God, but we seem to be waiting for the "big" thing - an overseas missions trip, teaching Sunday School, or taking in a foster child. Good things all, and certainly a big way to serve God.
But I'm here to remind you that our service to God should happen daily. We serve Him when we serve our families. We serve Him when we cut the neighbor's grass, let someone go ahead of us in the check-out line, when we encourage, when we console, when we cry with those who hurt. We serve Him when we lift others up in prayer, when we cheerfully change our plans to help someone in need, when we realize our day, our life, belongs to Him. We serve Him when we read to a child, drive a 90-year old to the beauty shop, and smile when we'd rather complain. We serve Him when our heart is full of gratitude for His mercy, when we share with someone else the amazing things He has done for us.

May I serve Him well today.

:. brights .:

2010-09-18T07:59:00.004-05:00

If you're over in the Ingersoll area, do me a favor and stop by Tandem Brick. The Farmer's Almanac predicts we're going to have another snowy winter, so trust me, you're gonna want one of these babies!*

*actually, don't feel obligated to buy . . . but please do at least 'ooh' and 'aah' over my stuff! Thanks!

:. eden, hardly .:

2010-09-14T23:00:00.000-05:00

My garden sure took a hit this summer. With our hot-humid-rainy-repeat weather, there weren't many good gardening hours to be had. And of course by July, I'm about gardened-out anyway. (Yes, I'm lazy.) Add to that the usual busyness of summer as well as all those unexpected things of which life is made.

Suffice it to say, my asters didn't get pinched once, the paths are overgrown, nothing has been dead-headed, and the weeds have won the day. There are even a few impatiens still in the flat in which they arrived from the garden center in May, waiting to be planted. (!)

BUT.

Look what God decided to grace me with, in a year when He knew I wouldn't have the time/energy to keep up:

The lovely white-flowered vine is a sweet autumn clematis. I noticed it earlier in the spring, a clump of foliage that I certainly hadn't planted. But there it was, twining right up the trellis on which my mandevilla reigns supreme. I thought the leaves looked like a clematis, but surely I couldn't be so lucky as to get something so lovely to volunteer in my yard.

As the summer went on it got fuller and fuller, and then it started to bud. Oh my stars, it really is a sweet autumn clematis!

The great thing about this story is that I actually didn't get just one beautiful vine. God graced me with two. The second one is about 10 feet further down the bed, placed neatly and precisely in the gap between two arborvitaes.

And wouldn't you know it, both vines are visible from my kitchen window.

The original Master Gardener is still at work!

And on a similar note, here is something else that absolutely makes me happy:

My "yarn-at-a-glance" shelf, full of winter brights and cozy darks, each just waiting to be made into something lovely.

I am blessed, indeed.

:. food for thought .:

2010-08-09T08:13:00.007-05:00

The other night Benny picked up dinner for us at our favorite taco stand. It wasn't until the next day that I took a close look at the receipt he'd left on the kitchen counter: I've always loved that their motto is "Nothing is Impossible", but it was a jolt to read those next words. What a reminder! What a succinct summation of the gospel message!

"The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve,

and to give his life as a ransom for many."

~ Matthew 20:28

:. top ten inventions of all time .:

2010-08-03T09:37:00.005-05:00

grandchildren

autumn

humor

canaries

coffee

family dinner

hoodies

books

"air" quotes

the telegraph

[Technically, only #10 is an actual "invention". But if I was telling you this in person, I'd definitely be using "air" quotes.]

:. lessons & questions .:

2010-07-28T07:59:00.016-05:00

Such a busy few weeks. So many jumbled thoughts. So many huge life-lessons.
Without going into any detail, here are a few things I've learned lately, along with new questions that have cropped up:

Just when you think you have a bit of free time ahead, God can step in and remind you that your 'free-time' isn't 'me-time'. Your days belong to Him. And He probably has a very good idea of how that time should be used.
It is sometimes easier to serve complete strangers than those closest to you.
My patience definitely has limits. Does it count for anything if you are loving on the outside . . . but CRANK-EEEE on the inside?
I had no idea just how selfishly I live my life. Putting others first is easy to talk about, but much harder to DO, day after day after day after day after day after day after day.
I'm definitely not a fan of pity-parties. But how often am I guilty of that very thing? (Pity, party of one?)
Little children are a joy, a delight, a sweet aroma. They easily fill up an emotional tank that has been drained dry. What would I do without my grands?
How do Jesus' words that we are to become like little children mesh with the above statement? How do you recapture the guileless ease with which little ones live life?
How do you show Jesus to a dying world . . . when you're busy with your own to-do list?
How do you come to the place where you want what God wants, more than your own agenda?

And finally:

What would I do without my children? Yes, my grands are a delight, but my kids are a blessing that cannot be measured. Thanks for all the love, you guys!

:. smiley waving black guy .:

2010-07-16T08:39:00.008-05:00

I saw Smiley Waving Black Guy this morning. Perhaps you've seen him around; if you live anywhere near this side of town, you can't miss him. He walks most places, always has a HUGE smile on his face, and waves at every passing car.

I don't know if he's crazy . . . or just really, really happy.

I hadn't seen him in awhile, but I caught sight of him from a few blocks away. And I realized how happy I was to see him. I love that guy. His smile is contagious; his happy, wild waving never fails to put a smile on my face. Of course I always wave back, and that makes him smile even more.

There's just something wonderful about seeing all that joy and friendliness emanating from another human being. (And yes, the thought has crossed my mind that perhaps Jesus has decided to walk these streets.)

Thanks for the day-brightener, Smiley Waving Black Guy. I'm going to do my best to carry a bit of your attitude today.

:. live it .:

2010-07-13T08:12:00.008-05:00

People are often unreasonable and self-centered.

FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.

BE KIND ANYWAY.

If you are honest, people may cheat you.

BE HONEST ANYWAY.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous.

BE HAPPY ANYWAY.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.

DO GOOD ANYWAY.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.

GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.

IT NEVER WAS BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY.

~ Mother Theresa ~

:. the dichotomy of independence .:

2010-07-04T07:25:00.016-05:00

On this Independence Day, a word about dependence.

As a nation, Americans are fiercely and proudly independent. We value our freedoms (and rightly so); we relish our pioneer spirit. We take orders from no one; we are proud to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. "Don't Tread On Me" . . . "Give me liberty or give me death".

It's the American way.

But despite the slogans, despite what we may think, we are not free. We are all slaves. God Himself said so.

"A man is a slave to whatever has mastered him."

~ 2 Peter 2:19

"I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin."

~ John 8:34

The Bible makes it clear that we are either slaves to sin, or slaves to righteousness. Through Jesus we can be set free from sin, but many of us choose to remain bound with those chains. How foolish, when the alternative gives such great reward:

"Now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life."

~ Romans 6:22

No, we're not really free, we are slaves. We also aren't really independent. We weren't created to be. John Donne had it right:

"No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; . . . any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind."

Even Jack Shepherd famously said, "If we can't live together, we're gonna die alone." [Ed. note: Yes, I still miss Lost.]

The Bible tells us over and over that we are to bear one another's burdens, serve one another, love one another, meet together, pray together, and on and on. Those things definitely negate any idea we may hold of independence from our fellow man.

And then, of course, like it or not, believe it or not, act like it or not, each of us is entirely dependent on the One who created us.

So on this Independence Day, raise the flag, shoot off those fireworks, and consider:

"If the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed."

~ John 8:36

:. imagine .:

2010-06-29T08:50:00.012-05:00

Imagine for a moment that you just won the lottery. Let's make this an even better scenario: let's say the winning ticket was the very first one you'd ever purchased. And let's say the jackpot was 180 million bucks . . . or whatever amount was enough to last you the rest of your days, even after the IRS took their (grossly unfair) cut.

Imagine how you would feel.

Imagine the feeling of paying off your bills - mortgage, car, school loans, credit cards, what have you.

Imagine knowing the good you could do with all that money: charities, people in need, helping out family members and friends.

Imagine how it would feel to never have to worry about finances again.

Imagine knowing you'd never again wonder how you're going to put food on the table, or make it till next payday, or pay that enormous heating bill.

Imagine being able to buy anything your heart desired.

Imagine how that would feel.

Now imagine that obeying God made you feel that same way.

"I rejoice in following your Word

as one rejoices in great riches."
Psalm 119:14

Imagine what that would be like.

:. this I know .:

2010-05-28T09:04:00.021-05:00

Ashby Park is the sweetest-smelling place on earth right now. Why? That wonderful field of clover. Grab a child (any child) and head to the Ashby playground before they mow. You'll be glad you did.

Speaking of sweet scents, have you smelled Eisley S. yet? Mmmmmm . . . . she smells of milk and honey. Seriously in love with that girl!

And speaking of wonderful little people, it seems Liam is going to be an A-class worrier. Daddy was on the roof the other day, doing some repairs, and our middlest was ever so worried about him falling. Liam recounted the whole thing to me the next day, adding, "Next time, daddy should wear my helmet!" (Which is a great mental picture: Josh wearing way-too-small Spider Man headgear.)
The thing is, Leebs also worries about wild animals coming into his house, pirates, and gypsies (among other things).

As for other wonderful little people, Gav and I made a trip to "Boesen the Flower Shop" yesterday. He passes it every time he goes to ChildServe, so I promised him we would visit. As we walked into the greenhouse, he kept exclaiming, "It's so beautiful in here!" Love my little horticulturist!

And to round out with a Tate comment: That littlest boy is going to be oh, so funny! We're predicting he's set to be the loudest of the brothers, and I personally am guessing he might even surpass Liam as family funny-man. (Of course he has to learn to talk first, but there seems to be no stopping the third Hulling!) And his drooly, bitey kisses are absolute heaven.

In other news, I seriously miss Lost already. No, I didn't like the ending. It felt hurried, and it was as if the writers took the easy (cheesy) way out. But having said that, I did really like the series, and I'm sad that it's over. But since I do have a real life, I will let the sadness pass.

Speaking of sadness, I was thinking the other day of how many sorrows we are asked to carry in this life. You know what they are . . . we each have our burdens, some heavier than others. And the apostle Paul's words sprang to mind:

"If we have hoped in Christ in this life only,

we are of all men most to be pitied."

1 Corinthians 15:19

The knowledge that this life is but a temporary vapor, that these trials are light and momentary compared with the eternity that's waiting, that is what enables one to carry on no matter what the circumstances. A Christ-follower may give up some things (his very life, daily!) to be obedient, but the hope we have for eternity far out-weighs any 'inconvenience'. And the trials we bear now will seem so inconsequential in light of what's waiting.

Bottom line: Keep your 'eye on the prize'. Maintain an eternal perspective. Don't confuse the material things we enjoy in this life with the things that matter.

:. good and pleasant .:

2010-05-11T10:22:00.011-05:00

The past few weeks, I've been helping my little guys memorize Psalm 133:1:

"How good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity."

(A grand and perfect verse for brothers to learn, wouldn't you agree?)

We've talked about what those words mean, and what sort of behavior God would like to see from us.

So the other night those loves were over at my house (so mommy could run down to the hospital to see baby Eisley!). They were playing with the Hot Wheels race track, and doing a pretty good job of taking turns. But then Liam started fudging just a tad, and took a couple of extra turns, so Gav bopped him on the head. Liam turned to me with a very pained look, eyebrows furrowed, and lamented,

"Grandma! Gavin isn't dwelling together in unity!"

Aaah, well at least he understands how the verse applies to Gavin.

:. happy mother's day .:

2010-05-09T12:18:00.006-05:00

Before you were conceived I wanted you

Before you were born I loved you

Before you were here an hour I would die for you

This is the miracle of life.

~ maureen hawkins

you're as beautiful as a flower.

~ dre'von

(this one from a mother's day poster at the grocery store, in which kids told why they love their mom)

:. welcome, baby girl! .:

2010-05-05T13:05:00.005-05:00

Introducing the beautiful and talented

Miss Eisley Christine Saldanha!

Making her appearance at 1:30 am on 05.05.10.

Weighing in at a petite 6 lbs. 15 oz.; 19 inches tall.

Welcome to the world, baby girl! We love you already!

:. scientific proof .:

2010-05-03T07:28:00.006-05:00

Whenever I hear someone citing studies that 'prove' there is no link between autism and vaccines, I think of this:

:. thoughts while waiting for baby girl .:

2010-04-16T10:39:00.055-05:00

Being a mom means you love more deeply than you ever thought possible.

It means you worry more than you ever thought possible, too.

Motherhood is the place where you leave 'self' behind. What begins during the nine months you carefully nurture the tiny little person inside, lasts . . . for the rest of your life. Because no matter how old your children, they will always be your children. The concern for their well-being doesn't end when they turn 18 or leave the nest or have a family of their own.

Being a mom lets you understand (perhaps for the first time) why your own mother did some of the things she did.

Motherhood is the place where you begin to pray as you've never prayed before.

It is the place where your inadequacies loom large in view of the enormous treasure placed in your hands. Where you realize how little wisdom you have, and how much you need God.

Being a mom means you are in store for the biggest joys you've ever known. And some pretty big heartaches as well.

It means you will hurt like crazy when your child hurts. And skinned knees are just scratching the surface. (Literally.) Wait until your child's heart hurts: when a friend has betrayed them, or life has let them down. When they don't make the team, or that girl/boy breaks up with them.

Motherhood means knowing when to let go. It is allowing your kids to make mistakes, to stumble and even fall, because you know that only through struggle do we grow. And it means being there to help them back up on their feet, encouraging them to never give up.

Being a mom means summoning strength when you are weary, patience when you don't feel like it, and asking forgiveness when you mess up. Because you will. And that's okay; your kids need to learn how to make things right when they mess up. Your kids need to understand the human condition, to see grace in action, to know what it is to be unconditionally loved.

Motherhood means disciplining when it would be easier to let something slide.

It means taking every opportunity to teach your child about God's greatest gift, in the hope that they, too, will want to follow Jesus when they are older. It's knowing that they have a free-will, to choose or reject the Savior who died for them.

Motherhood means realizing that you are being watched; that every word and action is being taken in by a little person who is looking to you to see how human beings act and react.

It is knowing that giving them every 'thing' they want will only leave them empty, but that there is no limit on the amount of love you can shower upon them.

Motherhood is dandelion bouquets and sticky kisses. It is the angelic beauty of a sleeping child. It is a boy digging in the dirt; a girl twirling in a pink tutu. It is a lump in your throat when your child succeeds . . . a lump in your throat when they fail. It is pride in their every accomplishment; it is your heart overflowing.

Being a mother means you will most likely see the day when your children have children. And so the cycle begins again . . . intensified by the word "grand" in front of your name.

:. noise .:

2010-04-08T07:24:00.028-05:00

The prophet Elijah had just come off a big win against the prophets of Baal. [You can read the full play-by-play in 1 Kings 18. Be assured, it's riveting.]

Yes, Elijah proved beyond a doubt that Jehovah is Lord . . . yet he came away from the experience afraid and depressed. He had good reason; Jezebel the queen had vowed to kill him, but I find it quite interesting that after such a huge spiritual victory he would slide into very dire emotional straits.

Chew on that fact; mull it over; ponder it well. I will let you draw your own conclusions, because this post is about what happened next.

After some refreshment straight from the hand of God, he headed to Horeb, "the mountain of God", where he was told "the Lord is about to pass by."

Tornadic winds tore at the mountain, shattering rocks . . . but the Lord was not in the wind.
Then, an earthquake . . . but the Lord was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake, a fire . . . but the Lord was not in the fire.

"And after the fire came a gentle whisper."

And there, there was God Almighty.

We are told in another place to "be still and know that I am God."

It makes sense that we must be quiet in order to know this God who speaks in a gentle whisper.

My question is: with all the noise in our everyday lives, how is it possible to hear Him? How often have we missed His voice because we surround ourselves with NOISE? We carry phones with us everywhere so we don't miss a single call. We stay connected to the internet so we don't miss any emails, tweets, facebook messages. We turn the music up loud, the TV on for background noise, we use ear buds, iPods, lala.

Really? Are we that afraid of stillness? Are we afraid of being absolutely alone . . . with our thoughts, with our God?

Turn off the noise, and listen for that gentle whisper. It could change your life.

:. for your information .:

2010-04-02T08:54:00.007-05:00

• 1 in 91 children (formerly 1 in 150 up until 2009 and 1 in 10,000 in the early 1990s)
• 4:1 ratio of boys to girls
• 1 in 58 boys
• Fastest growing developmental disability
• A family with a child with autism will fund 3 to 5 million dollars of services throughout the lifetime of the child.
• More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than cancer, diabetes, Downs Syndrome and AIDS combined.
• Autism receives less than 5% of the research funding of most of the more prevalent childhood disorders.
• Approximately 1 million individuals in the US have autism

:. the message of the cross .:

2010-03-29T08:57:00.024-05:00

"For the message of the cross is foolishness

to those who are perishing,

but to us who are being saved

it is the power of God."

~ 1 Corinthians 1:18 ~

What is the message of the cross?

It is a message of hope for hopeless people. Forgiveness and cleansing. Grace, mercy and peace. It is a message of God's unconditional love. Of redemption and relationship. It is a message of joy and pardon and a new way of being. Death to self and life eternal. It is strength for the weary and adoption as sons.

The cross is God, beckoning, pleading with us to return to Him. To be reunited with the One who formed us. It is God providing the Way to become the people we were created to be.

How is it possible for all this to be considered foolishness? Who could turn down such a gift?

Please, be reconciled to Him. He is stretching out His arms to you right now.

:. carnation lily lily rose .:

2010-03-08T06:59:00.015-06:00

I love this John Singer Sargent painting: it is a breath of June as we sit at the tail-end of winter. Spring is coming . . . and roses . . . and lilies . . . oh, and Baby Girl!
(Im)patiently waiting!

:. thirty-seven .:

2010-03-01T09:09:00.022-06:00

Yesterday the high hit 37°. With the winter we've had, that 37 felt like 77. Forget doing dishes, forget folding laundry, forget getting ready for family dinner! I naturally headed out to the garden to soak up some much-needed vitamin D. Hhhhmmm . . . where to sit?

Definitely not HERE. Notice where the ice chunk CRASHED off the roof and SPLINTERED my adirondack chair! Yikes!

Oh, there's a dry little seat . . if I can climb over mountains of snow in my chucks. [Note to self: buy snow boots for next winter.] I tell you, the 20 minutes I spent with that wonderfully warm sun on my face was HEAVEN. I would've stayed out longer, but I really did need to get ready for the birthday buddies.

Oh, and here's what spring-time looks like on the inside of my house:

I can't wait for the real thing!

:. oh, suburbia .:

2010-02-25T10:54:00.006-06:00

I overheard an interesting conversation today at my neighborhood Walmart. (Yes, I was at Walmart.)

Two youngish moms were chatting about kids and schools, and one said, "We open-enrolled our daughter because we live in Johnston, and we wanted a school system with more diversity. I grew up in a small town, and there were only white people there. We didn't want our kids to grow up that way!"

Um. Then why are you living in the suburbs??!?!?

(Don't get me started on that rant!)

:. open wide your mouth .:

2010-02-22T08:30:00.005-06:00

I love this photo. I shot it quite a few years ago in my backyard. I enjoy it for so many reasons:

☼ robins are terrible nest-builders. Just look how untidy that mess o' twigs is!

☼ they also don't choose nesting sites very wisely. This nest was built on my rose-arbor, about head-high, in a high-traffic area. Duh, robin.

☼ baby birds are dang cute. Look at those egg-yolk mouths! Cheep, cheep, cheep!

☼ mmmm . . . can't you just smell the light but glorious fragrance of that climbing New Dawn rose?!

☼ there is no better reminder that spring is coming than photos such as this. I'd like to make a new motto, right here and now:

SPRING HAPPENS

(feel free to quote me.)

But the number one reason I love this photo is because it reminds me of something God said in Psalm 81:

"I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt.

Open wide your mouth and I will fill it."

Have you ever watched a nest of hatchlings? They pretty much expect mom and dad to take care of them. When they're hungry, they open their mouths. They expect food to be dropped in. They don't fret, they don't question, they don't wonder. They instinctively know their needs will be provided.

They just open.

:. 1 + 1 = 1 .:

2010-02-08T10:13:00.005-06:00

Benny and I celebrated 34 years of wedded bliss yesterday. Of course, anyone who's been married for any length of time knows it's not always bliss exactly. But wedded we've been, for a pretty big chunk of years.
It struck me the other night, how companionable your mate becomes after such a long time together. You know each other so well, the slightest arch of the eyebrow or set of the jaw speaks volumes, words unnecessary. It's comforting, and safe, and lovely to know just one other person so deeply. To have one person be the one you turn to, talk to, listen to, share life with.
God tells us that in marriage, two people become one. One heart, one purpose, one Master. I can tell you: after 34 years, it's a wonderful thing.

Our children honored us quite nicely, foregoing the Super Bowl to share the evening with us. After a favorite family dinner at the Hulling manor, we sat in the living room, and Josh pulled out his guitar. Liam immediately ran to get his, and Gav grabbed the microphone.

And then we sang worship songs.

I can't even describe how amazing/humbling/beautiful/funny that was.
Amazing because this, THIS is what Benny and I began, unknowingly, 34 years ago. This amazing family is the product of two very human people who have made a lot of mistakes along the way.
Humbling because my daughters are wonderful, godly women who chose wonderful, godly men to spend their lives with. They are now raising their children to know and love the Lord Jesus Christ.
Beautiful because watching my grands is always beautiful! The way Liam imitates his daddy while playing guitar like a rock star is beautiful. The way Gav smiles as he's singing at the top of his angel voice is beautiful. The way Tate squeals with delight the louder the room gets is beautiful.
And funny because Liam can't play the guitar at all. But he sure thinks he can. It's hilarious to watch.

I can't think of a better way to celebrate than with all 9.7 of us gathered together, praising the One responsible for it all.
Thanks, kids!

:. the sweetest sound .:

2010-01-25T18:35:00.006-06:00

So yesterday I stopped by the Hulling manor to pick up Emily. (We were headed to Ames to work a little magic on Baby Girl's nursery.) Naturally, I ran inside for a minute to say hello to my three little loves.

Tate made happy sounds at me from his position on the solarium rug. Heart-melt.

Liam ran to greet me wearing nothing but a shirt and a smile. Heavenly.

Gavin gave me a huge hug while doing a little happy dance. Perfection.
And then he said:

"Grandma, would you please stay here and have your Special Day with me?!"

Music, I tell you.

:. the bad samaritan .:

2010-01-21T09:45:00.002-06:00

Ice, snow, terrible roads. Naturally Benny got his truck stuck trying to get up our driveway last night. And I mean really stuck . . . as in "blocking the street" stuck.
I did go out to help him, though I'm not much help.
I was quite happy when a guy turned onto our block just then. I waved at him to let him know to hold off; there was no way he could get past us. At least there would be another set of muscles to help Benny push as I gunned it, trying to get out of the street.
Unbelievably, the man just sat in his car. For TWENTY minutes. He sat and watched a silver-haired guy and a woman try to get a very stuck truck un-stuck. And didn't lift a finger to help.
I was appalled. Stupefied. Ticked.

And I thought of my boys . . . and how either one of them would have jumped out of their car in a split second, without giving it another thought, and helped someone in need.
[My girls would have had the same impulse; they're just not much help when it comes to pushing cars out of the street.]

Hurray for my boys.
Boo on the guy in the silver Honda.

:. tragedy and the heart of God .:

2010-01-14T08:58:00.031-06:00

The pictures coming out of Haiti this week are heartbreaking. There are those who ask, "How can a loving God allow such tragedies?"

Let me say up front, I have no idea why God allows such disasters to take place. I believe it breaks His heart to see so much suffering . . . and yet He, who alone could have stopped it, did nothing.

No, I don't understand that. But I do know that God originally intended for us to live in a perfect world, free from sin, and heartache, and yes, natural disasters. Because of sin, the whole world now lies under a curse.

God is Almighty - so much bigger than you or I - and His ways are "past finding out". To understand every way in which He works in this world would be to cut Him down to our size. And a God who was just like us wouldn't be much of a God at all.

But this post isn't about that, necessarily. This is more about our own hearts.

First of all, Pat Robertson is an idiot. To say that the Haitians have "been cursed" because they "made a pact with the devil" is just wrong. Yes, Haiti has had its share of brutal leaders, and definitely has deep societal problems. But to castigate an entire people is idiotic. That's tantamount to saying they deserved this.

What about Jesus' very own words in Luke 13? He was asked about a tragedy that happened in His day, and He replied,

"Those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them - do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish."

I think perhaps God has a few questions of His own:

Why are you just now so concerned for the people of Haiti? They have always suffered from abject poverty. Isn't that, too, a tragedy? Why did it take an earthquake to shake you from your comfortable nest? Aren't there people all over the world who suffer every day? Where is your concern for them? Isn't it a tragedy that so many Americans need to count calories . . . when there are those in the world who go to bed hungry every night? Where is the justice in that? And what exactly will change now that you have this new-found 'concern'?

You see, I don't question God in events such as these.

I question those of us whom God placed here to make a difference . . . but who instead choose to close our eyes, our hands hanging limply at our sides.

:. rest easy, america .:

2010-01-14T07:47:00.018-06:00

Yes, Jack is back . . . and America can rest easy for another 24 hours.

I've been so excited for the return of 24, and just this morning I finally snuck a peek at season 8. It seems my 'long-lost son' has landed a major role!

"Cole Ortiz (Freddie Prinze Jr.), a former Marine who wants to follow in Jack Bauer’s footsteps, runs the division’s Field Operations."

I love the sound of that!

:. it's a new day .:

2010-01-01T07:13:00.001-06:00

First, the Year In Review (in no particular order):

• Tate Joshua Hulling! • Baby Saldanha! • Massachusetts • Son-Rise • focus room • badly sprained ankle • split chin • parkinsons • siding and windows • nationwide • Red Thread Laine • California • Disney Land! • ChildServe • learning to ride a bike • exploding speech! • family dinners • geel lunch • Special Days With Grandma • birthday buddy celebrations • fireworks • Jazz in July • Ragamuffins • knit, knit, knit • felt, felt, felt • reading • writing • not much 'rithmatic • laughing • some crying • Drake relays 5k in the rain • some good deeds • some selfishness • encouraged some • let others down • sister time • friend time • garden time • Gavin and Liam for a week • Lost parties • 24 parties • ewan and charlie • zombie movies • sunny days • dreary days • ordinary days • extraordinary days •

And now, some New Year's Resolutions (in no particular order):

Eat better. This would involve eating more fruit. (Who am I kidding?)
Exercise more. (Again with the kidding.)
Take vitamins. (I could possibly get this one done.)
Design some really smashing hats and bags. (Ha!)
Laugh more. (Shouldn't be hard; it's one of my favorite things.)
Make stuff.
Learn.
Grow.
Think.
Spend more time snorgling those boys and their little girl cousin!!
Appreciate people more. (Easy to do on the inside, I don't always show it outwardly.)
Walk more closely with my God. (Always, always my goal.)

I welcome you, 2010. I'm ready for whatever you have to throw at me, good or bad. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

:. like a child .:

2009-12-29T06:58:00.019-06:00

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."

~ 1 Corinthians 13:11

When I was a child:

I thought trees created the wind with their swaying. I still really like this theory; it's very lovely to think of trees that way. (I'm not completely convinced scientists and/or meteorologists have it right.)

I thought people in "the olden days" lived in a black and white world, since all photographic evidence pointed to that. I always felt very sorry for people who lived before "color".

I was very confused about "which side of the family" I was on: my mom's side, or my dad's. I heard my mom use that expression once, and I was pretty worried I wouldn't be on my mom's side. (sorry, dad.)

I thought grown-ups knew everything.

I thought the world was a safe and happy place.

I always hoped if I was really, really good, an angel would appear to me and tell me some big news. (Yes, just like Mary . . . only not that news.)

Now that I've 'put away childish things', I wonder how silly my thinking still looks to the One "in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge"?

Yes, I'm just smart enough to know I still have a lot to learn.

:. lavish love .:

2009-12-21T18:49:00.025-06:00

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given."

~ Isaiah 9:2,6

"He will save his people from their sins."

~ Matthew 1:21

May you receive with joy the Gift the Father has given.

O come let us adore Him!

*painting: "Nativity" by Brian Kershisnik

:. a word from ben stein* .:

2009-12-15T08:15:00.010-06:00

"My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says . Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards.

Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein"

*this email has been forwarded many times over the past several years. Right on, Mr. Stein.

:. i'm just mad about saffron .:

2009-12-04T15:07:00.010-06:00

So the other day I was going to make a yummy dinner using basmati rice. The recipe called for a smidgen of saffron, of which I had none. Normally I substitute like mad when a recipe calls for an ingredient I don't have, but this time I decided saffron sounded too lovely to use a stand-in.

(Say it: 'saffron'. Something that melodic is bound to make a tasty dish.)

Not so fast!
Saffron happens to run $17.75 for a small jar at my local grocers. That's a fortune to someone used to paying 79 cents for all their spice needs.

Turns out, saffron is the world's most expensive spice, and with good reason! And I quote:

"Saffron is harvested from the fall-flowering plant Crocus sativus. Each purple crocus flower produces three stigmas, which are hand-picked from the blossom, dried, and permitted to ferment slightly to produce saffron. It is estimated that it takes some 14,000 stigmas to produce only one ounce of saffron threads. The labor-intensive process makes the cost of these bright red threads soar upwards of $50 per quarter-ounce."

So no, I didn't buy saffron.

I used cinnamon instead.

And yes, it was quite tasty.

:. gentlemen rules .:

2009-12-03T06:35:00.003-06:00

For quite some time now, etiquette-minded Katie has been taking it upon herself to teach our little guys all the "Gentlemen Rules". Look out, ladies! Not only will the Brothers Hulling bowl you over with their dashing good looks, but their impeccable manners will make you positively swoon!
The best part? Now that they understand some of the basic rules, they are very adept at adding their own to the list. They are always popping out with a new Gentlemen Rule.

Here's just a sampling (some originated with Katie, others are pure Gavin or Liam):

Gentlemen always say 'please' and 'thank you'.
Gentlemen always say 'excuse me' when they toot.
Gentlemen never push their brothers.
Gentlemen always cuddle their grandma.
Gentlemen always tell mommy if they have to go potty.
Gentlemen never touch their poopy bottom.
Gentlemen don't whine.
Gentlemen always give their mommy kisses.
Gentlemen never play with their Elmo underwear.
Gentlemen always buy flowers for ladies they love.
Gentlemen can cry.

And so it goes. There are many, many more Gentleman Rules, of course. And the older they get, some rules won't apply, and new rules will be added.

There's a lot to learn in life, isn't there?

:. give thanks .:

2009-11-23T08:00:00.000-06:00

"Be joyful always; pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

~ 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 ~

Thank You, God, for wrapping your arms around us when we heard the word 'Parkinsons'.

Thank You for comforting us through the initial shock, when we could hardly breathe.

Thank You for leading us to caring people who can help us through the fog of dealing with a debilitating disease.

Thank You that right now . . . for this day . . . the symptoms are manageable.

Thank You, God, for holding Chris' and Katie's hearts in your hand when they miscarried.

Thank You for growing and softening them through the pain, and knitting them closer together because of it.

Thank You that You have cushioned the blow with time, and have given them a new miracle in which to rejoice.

Thank You that Your plan and purposes are perfect.

Thank You, God, for giving Josh and Emily the heart and the vision to recover Gavin.

Thank You that you have a wonderful plan for Gavin's life, a plan that includes him having been autistic once upon a time.

Thank You for all the caring people You have brought alongside of them, people who lovingly give of their time to work one-on-one with our Gav.

Thank You for ALL those fabulous Hulling boys . . . such a joy in every way.

Thank You, God, for seeing my family through sickness and health, through good times and lean.

Thank You for your provision and grace, and your new-morning mercy.

In everything, we give thanks.

:. spitting and touching and healing .:

2009-11-19T09:14:00.018-06:00

In Mark 8, starting at v. 22, there's a very interesting story about a blind man. It says that friends brought the man to Jesus and "begged Him to touch him."
So what does Jesus do? He takes him by the hand and leads him outside the village (touching going on, but no healing . . . and why do they need to go on a walk first????)

Naturally, the next thing Jesus does is SPIT on his eyes (really, Jesus?) and put His hands on him . . . (touching, touching).
And, voila! The man's sight is . . . only partially restored. Oh, how disappointing!

Jesus puts His hands on the guy's eyes again (more touching) . . . and this time, this time, he can see.
Awesome, Jesus!! Restoring sight to the blind!!

Here's the kicker: two chapters later, He heals another blind guy with one word.

I've been thinking about this for two days. . . .wondering why.
Why does God sometimes choose to take us on an arduous path in order to work in our lives, when other times it's as simple as a word spoken to us?
Why do we sometimes (almost) feel like God is spitting on us, instead of helping us?
Why are we blind in the first place?

Of course, I have no answer as to why. Jesus knows us inside and out; He knows exactly what we need (and don't need). Perhaps He knows that sometimes we need to be taken on a longer road to give our hearts time to catch up. Perhaps He heals differently to remind His followers that He is GOD, and we dare not try to put Him in our small boxes.
But one thing I am sure of is that when we ask for His help, Jesus will take hold of our hand.

The final word on the blind man? When at last his eyes were opened, we are told "he saw everything clearly."

That is what Jesus desires for each of us.

:. 'X' .:

2009-11-18T11:04:00.007-06:00

· So, our furnace decided today to be like the church at Laodicea: 'neither hot nor cold'. Well, actually, it's cold . . . but I definitely want to spew something out of my mouth.
Aaah, life. At least it's a mild day.

· Overheard at Hobby Lobby this morning:
"I heard there's going to be a shortage of waffles. It's going to be hard to find Eggos for the next six months or so."
(seriously.)

· Speaking of Hobby Lobby, they have the WORST, tightest, most horrible parking lot in the land.
Period.

· On my way there, though, I did that thing where you pull up to a 4-way stop at the EXACT moment as someone else. Technically, the car to the right has the right-of-way, but this being Iowa (and no one knowing that rule), you BOTH wave the other person on . . . also at the EXACT same moment. So you both start to accelerate . . . at the EXACT same moment. So you both hit the brakes and wave the other person on AGAIN . . . at the EXACT same moment.
What a comedy!
I call that the Four-Way Samba.

· And finally . . .
Last night I suddenly remembered that when I was 10 years old, I decided to write a sci-fi screenplay. (you heard me.) It was going to be good and scary, let me tell you! Something about creatures taking over the world . . . and they were only known as 'X'.
OOOOOO, CREEPY!!!

Looks like I was about 45 years early . . . and 2 letters off.

:. oh, lambie! .:

2009-11-12T10:03:00.010-06:00

Well, he did it again. Lambie went AWOL the other day. For a few hours, he was nowhere to be found! You would think Liam would be very upset, but that wasn't the case. Seems he has a new way of looking at the idea of LostLambie. Not long ago he told mommy, "If NewLambie gets lost, that's okay! Grandma will buy me another one!"

Now you have to understand, I waited a long time to replace OldLambie. A very good learning experience, I thought to myself. (That, and I kept thinking he'd turn up.)

So it's not as if I rushed out the minute Lambie disappeared and found another. But I guess the lesson Liam learned was: Grandma Is Someone I Can Always Depend On.

Hhhhmmm . . . that doesn't sound so bad when I put it like that!

For the record, NewLambie was finally discovered hiding in a shoebox in the coat closet.

He was duly laundered and returned to his rightful owner just in time for bed.

* Wanted Poster courtesy of Uncle Dave. I'm keeping it close at hand . . . I have a feeling it won't be the last time we need it!

:. miscellany .:

2009-11-11T12:15:00.028-06:00

[There is NO WAY to top this post . . . OR this post so I'm not even going to try. But you know how it is: ideas just keep swirling around your brain, screaming for expression. So what follows are unimportant, unrelated thoughts that simply don't warrant an entire post of their own. And it gives Katie something to read at work.]

**********

I read yesterday that they are recalling millions of umbrella strollers because children have been getting their fingertips cut off. Yes, it seems when the stroller is being unfolded, if kids put their fingers in the locking mechanism, there is a danger of them losing a fingertip.

Well, duh! Hey kids! Keep your hands to yourself till mummy gets the stroller open!

**********
Guilty Pleasures:

Dove Chocolates

TMZ

mmmm . . . . how 'bout eating Dove Chocolates while watching TMZ???

**********

Pretty excited for a new little munchkin to join the fam. (I think Glinda was the last person to use those exact words.) Chris and Kate, I hope you enjoy to the max this most wonderful time in your life. Kids are the BEST!!! Praying for the next six months to be an amazing time of preparation and FUN!!! EEEEEEEEE!!

**********

An old friend whom I hadn't seen in years showed up at my doorstep unexpectedly yesterday. She only had a half hour to spare, and we hugged/talked non-stop/hugged for 30 minutes straight.

How lovely to pick up as if we had spoken yesterday.

How lovely that she's back in my life.

**********

I wonder why we allow people to slip so easily in and out of our lives? How is it that another human being can so easily be taken for granted? When will I learn how precious are the people God has placed in close proximity to my heart?

**********

As we were raking last weekend, Benny claimed to remember me once saying that I LOVED to rake leaves.

26 leaf bags later, I begged to differ.

**********

Okay, I admit it: we've been watching the new TV series 'V'. It's not bad, if you like sci-fi. Interesting how the 'visitors' have taken on human form.

[****SPOILER ALERT! They're actually lizard-like creatures, up to no good! END SPOILER ALERT!***]

They are all beautiful humans; not a plug-ugly among them. Their thought is they would be more easily trusted and accepted if they were nice to look at.

Pssssh, yeah, like we'd fall for THAT!

**********

Lately I've been trying hard to 'see' the soul of a person, not just the shell that houses that soul. I really would love to see with God's eyes rather than man's.

Wonder how many 'lizards' are lurking under a beautiful exterior?

And vice-versa, of course.

:. nine out of ten .:

2009-11-02T06:32:00.015-06:00

I love reading in the gospels about all the miracles Jesus performed: the blind see, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life. I find myself wondering what happened to these people down the road. Did they follow Jesus all of their days, or did the miraculous become something they took for granted?

What became of blind Bartimaeus, whom Jesus healed with a single word? Mark tells us he 'received his sight and followed Jesus along the road'. How far? For how long? Where was he when Jesus was crucified? What about ten years later? Was he still following Jesus?

What about the demon-possessed guy who spent his days wailing, naked, in the cemetery? Jesus freed the man from his torment, and the next thing you know he was 'dressed and in his right mind'. He begged Jesus to let him go with Him, but Jesus wanted him rather to go tell his family how much the Lord had done for him. The last we hear of that guy, he was going from city to city, amazing people with his story. Did he spend the rest of his life telling others what the Savior had done for him? Did he ever forget what he had once been?

What about the little girl who had died, but Jesus took her by the hand and gave her life back to her with the lovely words, "Talitha koum"? [Aramaic for 'Little girl, arise'.] She was twelve when that happened; was she living in devotion and service to the One True God when she was 24, or 60, or once again on her deathbed? What about her parents? Did they spend their days telling everyone who would listen what Jesus had done for them?

It's easy to think, 'oh, if they experienced that firsthand, then surely they went on to follow Jesus the rest of their lives'.

But wait. How many times has Jesus touched you? healed you? provided for you? given you life? helped you see? helped you walk? given you strength? Do you spend every day of your life in gratitude to God? Or has the miraculous become common-place? Has the hand of God in your life become something you take for granted?

There's another story that always gets me. Ten lepers came to Jesus, begging for mercy. He told them to go show themselves to the priests, "and as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him."

Nine out of ten didn't bother.

Which am I?

:. ansel liam .:

2009-10-28T06:45:00.013-05:00

Here's what happens when you hand a 2-year old a camera:

He snapped 3 dozen pictures in the space of about 5 minutes, most of them of Lambie.

Nice job, photog!

:. pet peeves .:

2009-10-23T12:44:00.021-05:00

• I hate when I make a detailed shopping list . . . and then leave it on my kitchen counter.

• I hate when people have loud cell phone conversations in public places.

• I hate it even more when the person having the loud conversation is a woman, striding through a store/mall/whathaveyou wearing high heels: YAK YAK CLACK CLACK YAK CLACK YAK CLACK CLACK YAK.

• I hate it when the last person in a check-out line rushes over when a new clerk announces she can help whoever is next. I don't think this is what Jesus had in mind when He said, 'the last shall be first'.

• I don't mind at all when people have strong opinions. I just hate it when they think I am somehow a lesser human being if my opinions don't happen to coincide with theirs.

• I hate it when people think that stay-at-home moms are vapid, brainless women who could never make it in the 'real' world.

• I hate it when people think that working moms don't love their kids quite as much as stay-at-home moms.

• I hate when my favorite TV shows are preempted by a presidential speech or Cyclone basketball.

• I hate when someone offers advice when I haven't asked for it. Unasked for advice is really just veiled criticism.

• I hate when I fall into any of the above categories. (although for the record, I've never preempted a television show in my life.)

:. 10 • 20 • 2007 .:

2009-10-20T07:17:00.001-05:00

There were so many wonderful things about that day:

The way that God Himself brought two people together.

The assemblage of family, and friends from different circles, all gathered into one spot as witnesses.

Those beautiful little flower girls, enjoying their role to the max . . . twirling and smiling.

The dapper little ring bearer, carrying the ring pillow AND his mickey spoon.

The drop-dead gorgeous bride, shining like the sun.

The drop-dead handsome groom, with tears in his eyes as he beheld his bride.

That song. Oh, that song.

The F-16 fly-over.

The solemnity . . . the fun . . . the beauty.

And then there was the weather.
It was one of the wettest Octobers on record. The ten days prior to the 20th were rainy and cold. The sun? Nowhere in sight.
And then came the forecast. This is what it looked like on Wednesday:

And the forecast only improved as the week went on. As a matter of fact, it got up to around 80 degrees Saturday. EIGHTY degrees.

God cracks me up.I'm quite certain He made sure it was rainy, stormy, wet, damp, cloudy, dark, etc, JUST SO He could show His sovereignty and power over creation. JUST SO He could reveal to Chris and Kate (and anyone else watching) just how much He loves them as He shined down on their day. JUST SO He would be glorified.

Yes, it was a grand day, indeed.

[reprinted from November 3, 2007]

Happy, happy anniversary, Chris and Katie!

:. life rules .:

2009-10-13T10:08:00.044-05:00

never throw away the instructions to your waffle maker.
never judge, because whatever measure you use to judge others will be the one God uses on you. Yikes! Do you really always meet your own standards? (not to mention God's?)
always try to think of yourself as "Plank-Eye", and the other guy as "Speck". Then when you think you need to remove the dust mote from someone else's life, you'll realize you have a log that needs some attention. (and let's be honest: sometimes the log in our own eye is more like an entire forest. We might be fooling others, but we can never fool the One who matters.)
always be ready to forgive. "If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins". (these aren't my words, Jesus said that.) Again, yikes!
never forget just how much you've been forgiven by God. Really helps with rule number 4.
never buy sheets with a thread count of less than 250.
life is much nicer with a canary.
if you're over the age of 18, please stop using your crappy childhood as an excuse to be a crappy adult. We all have baggage, but it doesn't have to be carry-on. Check it at the door and start living in a way that reflects who you really want to be.
never prepare your prize-winning 'manicotti with meat and ricotta filling' for a vegetarian. Trust me, you'll be sorry you did.
when inviting dinner guests, always ask beforehand if they're vegetarian.
'whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.' (I love that; it's from Ecclesiastics. Such a great life rule.)
always choose your words carefully. (see post below.) And then just shut your mouth, if that is the better option.
as much as you are able, drive a car with heated seats.
as much as possible, snuggle a child in your lap.
as often as you can, talk face-to-face with a friend.
contrary to popular opinion, you should never buy lemonade from a kid with a lemonade stand. The last time I did, the cup was dirty and there was grass floating in it. Yuck. Oh yeah, and they never have the correct change.

:. snarky .:

2009-10-11T06:50:00.026-05:00

Our church did something pretty cool last month: we all did a corporate fast for the month of September. The idea was for everyone to give up something (think Lent) in order to hear from God and be unified in our thinking and direction.

People gave up caffeine, web browsing, beer and the like, and after careful thought, I decided to give up sarcasm. (Go ahead and laugh, Josh Johnson!)

You have to understand, sarcasm is my favorite form of humor. I resort to it all the time, and usually it comes out as quite witty, at least in my opinion. (Which is probably the reason Chandler is my favorite 'Friend'.) So giving up a favored form of speech for a month was harder than it might sound.

I was amazed at how often I would open my mouth to say something, then have to immediately shut it again as I realized the words I was about to speak came under the heading of sarcastic.

And as I thought about it throughout the month, I realized more and more just how snarky my humor can be. I've long held the opinion that if you have to say, "Just kidding!" after a comment, then you probably shouldn't have said it in the first place. So even in my sarcasm, I try never to hurt a person's feelings. But, face it, snarky is snarky, no matter how you cut it, and I realized that many things I mean as a joke come out sounding all wrong. [So if I've ever hurt you in some weak attempt at being funny, I ask your forgiveness.]

Here's a bit of wisdom from the book of James*, said much better than I ever could:

A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!

It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue—it's never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!

And then there's this, from Ephesians:

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

With those guidelines, I may never be able to open my mouth again.

*Bible passages are from The Message.

:. it's back .:

2009-09-19T07:53:00.002-05:00

Just got the lab results, and my Grave's Disease is rearing its ugly head once again.
DANG.
And why did Robert Graves have to be the first to identify the disease? Why couldn't it have been Robert Twinkle?
I'd love to say I have Twinkle Disease.

dang.

:. things i've learned .:

2009-09-10T06:51:00.000-05:00

I've learned some things in my trips around the block. In honor of my natal anniversary, here are a few:

1. you don't have to worry about what people think of you, because they aren't.

2. he who has God, plus many things, has nothing more than he who has God alone. (I wish I had said that, but it was C.S. Lewis.)

3. because I believe the above statement, I know we would all be better off with less 'things'. And more God, of course.

4. now and then I like to contemplate the difference between then and now.

5. sometimes life is hard, but it's never the end of the world. Unless, of course, it's the end of the world.

6. if it were the end of the world, it would be too late to do all those things you've put off doing.

7. we tend to forget that this life is only a drop in the ocean compared to eternity. that's why we worry more about the status of our bank account than the status of our soul.

8. we all take way too many things for granted, including people we love.

9. we have NO IDEA of the depth of God's love for His children.

10. nor do we have ANY IDEA how holy God is, either. (We tend to think He's like us, only bigger. Wrong.)

11. we often confuse the patience of God with acquiescence. Big mistake.

12. life was never meant to be a bed of roses. (We got kicked out of the garden, remember?) It's actually more of a crucible; a place to refine us into the people we were meant to be.

13. it's futile to run from God. He fills heaven and earth . . . where are you going to hide? Better to stop running and submit. You're guaranteed a much happier ending.

14. there is no such thing as greener grass. That is simply an illusion created when we look through eyes of discontent.

15. Dorothy was right, there really is no place like home.

And just for the record: If I were a tree, I'd have 54 rings. I wonder how much girth that is in the arboreal world?

:. proud as can be .:

2009-09-02T08:05:00.011-05:00

Department Press Release

Barbara Carlton named "Woman of the Year in Agriculture"

TALLAHASSEE – Think back to the popular 1960s television show "The Big Valley." Ranch matriarch Victoria Barkley, played by legendary actress Miss Barbara Stanwyck, rides her horse in from the range, manages the family ranch, raises successful children and, all the while, conducts herself as a prim, proper and charming lady. If you thought that could only happen in Hollywood, think again.
Florida Agriculture Commissioner Charles H. Bronson today announced that another "Barbara," Mrs. Barbara Carlton, has been selected to receive the "Woman of the Year in Agriculture" award for 2001.
"The name Carlton is legendary in Florida's agricultural history," Bronson said. "Barbara has carried on the proud tradition of her family name, and is certainly one of the hardest-working women in agriculture."

I don't know why I'm just finding out about this now.

:. unbound and unharmed .:

2009-08-27T07:41:00.012-05:00

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were thrown into a blazing furnace because they refused to bow down and worship an idol. They were given the opportunity to lay aside their belief in the One True God and live; they chose otherwise. They trusted their God to save them, but even more impressive than their faith was their refusal to compromise "even if He does not."

They were tightly bound and thrown into a furnace so hot, the unlucky guards assigned to toss them in perished. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego? They walked around in the fire "unbound and unharmed". A fourth man, whom, in the pagan king's words, "looks like a son of the gods", accompanied them on their stroll through the flames.

The king immediately ordered them out of the furnace, and in utter amazement found "the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them."

If you are in the furnace today, don't give up hope. He is with you! He is with you! He is able to see you through the affliction, unbound and unharmed. Trust Him! You will come through the fire drenched with the fragrant aroma of Christ.

:. odds and ends OR just to give katie something to read .:

2009-08-24T09:11:00.009-05:00

I realized this morning that our cool weather has taken away my favorite summer past time: complaining about the heat and humidity. Not that I'm complaining about not being able to complain! This summer has been wonderful.

The smell of chicken stewing first thing in the morning is nauseating. HOWEVER. Chicken quesadillas for lunch with my girls is worth it.

A guy walked past my house last night, talking loudly to himself in what sounded like Russian. Not sure if he was using Berlitz . . . or if he is some sort of spy who didn't know the Cold War has ended. (or has it?!)

Here's something you never want to see: a HAZMAT crew at your local Mexican restaurant. (and they weren't having lunch.)

Something else you never want to see: someone's worldly belongings piled on the curb. (Obviously an eviction.) Just saw that the other day.

Oh, and I've decided to get a motorbike and take a little trip. Say, from John O'Groats to the Road of Bones. Anyone want to come along?

:. long-lost lambie .:

2009-08-15T15:41:00.009-05:00

What does it feel like to lose your closest friend? Just ask Liam.

Lambie was last seen two weeks ago, in the car headed down to the Farmer's Market. He wasn't allowed to leave the car, but somehow he disappeared, and hasn't been seen since.

Naturally the car was searched front to rear . . . no Lambie.

The house was searched top to bottom . . . no Lambie.

Mommy thinks perhaps brother chucked him into the shrubbery in the backyard. Maybe he'll show up this fall when the landscape is bare.

At any rate, since a guy can't go very long without his Lambie, New Lambie arrived yesterday.
It shouldn't take long for Liam to get him drooly, dirty and gnarly. In other words, JUST RIGHT.

Happy days are here again.

:. a glance in the mirror .:

2009-08-13T10:38:00.005-05:00

I had a metaphorical look in the mirror this morning. Not sure I like what I saw.

I was tooling along on the freeway, headed to the western reaches of our fair city. As I checked my speed, so as to keep it at 60(ish), the thought suddenly struck me: I don't drive the speed limit because it's the law, I drive the speed limit because I don't want to get a ticket.

There is a huge difference between the two.

I wonder how many other things I do, not out of love, or obedience, or because it's right, but simply out of fear of the consequences?
I hope my actions flow from a love for God, and a desire to obey Him.
I hope I do things for the right reasons.
It's really hard to know for sure.

I told you I'm not sure I like what I saw.

:. defining moments .:

2009-08-10T07:26:00.002-05:00

Dateline did a look back at Woodstock last night. Hard to believe it's been 40 years. (Funny how these 'important' anniversaries sneak up on you.) It was an interesting show. They interviewed a handful of people who were there, complete with actual video and/or stills of them at Woodstock. Each one said basically the same thing: "Woodstock was a defining moment for me."

One guy, a seminary student, decided he did not want to become a priest. Another man decided to 'come out'. Yet another decided to go to Canada to avoid being drafted. Defining moments all.
While I think it's sad that something as trivial as a rock concert should become a defining moment in someone's life, that's not what this post is about.
The show got me thinking about defining moments in my own life; what they were, and how I've changed because of them.
So, here, in chronological order, are my Defining Moments:

April 24, 1973 - the day I asked God to take control of my life. (How silly of the clay to think they know more than the Potter.)
February 7, 1976 - the day I said 'I do'. (Nothing defines you quite as much as linking your hopes and dreams to another person, till death you do part.)
September 4, 1978 - the day my heart decided to go walking around outside my body. (well, Emily didn't actually start walking for another 10 months, but you know what I mean.)
March 4, 1981 - the day our family felt complete. (Little did I realize then just how much joy my Katie would bring.)
August 2, 1997 - the day Emily said 'I do'. (I hadn't realized how wonderful it would be to have a son.)
October 5, 2004 - the day my precious Gavin entered the world. (Grandchildren, the most beautiful of God's inventions.)
March 24, 2007 - the day my precious Liam entered the world. (None of us knew what a treat we were in for.)
October 20, 2007 - the day Katie said 'I do'. (Another amazing son added to our family. And by this time, I expected no less from God.)
July 23, 2009 - the day my precious Tate entered the world. (Oh, my heart overflows!)
August 10, 2009 - the day that is before me. (Because, really, every day is important. Every day offers us a chance to define our life, our goals, our purpose.)

:. safe .:

2009-08-05T13:34:00.004-05:00

Credit for this stunning photo goes to Julia Hulling.

She totally captured this daddy's love for his little guy.

Thanks, Julie.

:. i could be an ad man .:

2009-07-30T10:18:00.003-05:00

Printed on the bag of cotton balls I just picked up at Target:

100% cotton

all natural

Puffy fluffs

: i see God .:

2009-07-27T15:08:00.004-05:00

Here is a simple fact: anything good and perfect begins with God.

Is there beauty on this earth? It had its genesis in the Holy One.

Is there truth? He is the Truth.

Love? Yes, God is love.

I see God in every newborn baby.

I see God in the eyes of a mommy tending to her children.

I see God in the love between a husband and wife. Between mother and daughter. Between friends.

I see God in the highest mountain and the tiniest raindrop.
I see God in the birds of the air and the lilies of the field.

The earth is His, and all that is in it.
He is present among the children of men.

Open your eyes.

:. welcome to the world! .:

2009-07-23T12:06:00.006-05:00

Thought I'd share a few early pics of Tate. I didn't take many with my dinosaur of a camera; I leave the real photography to the mad skills of Uncle Chris and his professional equipment.
These are pretty sweet, though!

And of course, after all that love, there's nothing like a little snack in front of the tv.

The Hulling Brothers Three . . . . be still my heart.

:. my daddy is a wino (and other gavinisms) .:

2009-07-22T12:19:00.012-05:00

No, Josh hasn't started carrying around a bottle of Boone's Farm Apple in a paper bag (not to my knowledge, anyway). This post is about something waaay better than that.

I have a wonderful children's book called Daddies, in which a little boy pretends that he and his daddy are different animals. The illustrations are quite colorful and the prose is a very sing-song rhyme. (It was also translated from Slovenian. Really.)

When Gavin 'reads' the book, my favorite page sounds like this:

"My daddy is a wino,

we wallow in the swamp.

We make the whole world tremble

when we stomp, stomp, stomp!"

It gets me every time.

And then there's this. Yesterday, during Gav's Special Day With Grandma, he climbed up on my bed and said:

"Once upon a time there was one little Me on grandma's big bed!"

And if you know that lately he prefers to be called 'Me' rather than Gavin, you realize that is hilarious, indeed.

The boy is going to be a story-teller.

Anyway, just killing time here, waiting for baby to arrive. He seems to be a laid-back fellow, keeping a leisurely pace. That's okay. Probably exactly what a third child needs to be.

:. my new best friend .:

2009-07-21T10:18:00.003-05:00

So I was at the grocery store this morning, and as Georgia was bagging my groceries, she asked if I wanted to drive up for them. I told her I made a vow long ago to always push my groceries out myself. I said it's the only exercise I get.
The lovely Sudanese girl checking me out turned and said, "Really? You look like you work out everyday!"

Naturally, I didn't say anything for a few seconds, because:
A) I didn't think I heard her correctly, and
B) If I had heard correctly, I didn't think she could possibly be talking to me.

I finally laughed and said, "You're too kind."
To which she replied that she was very serious.

We're going out for coffee next week.

:. thought for the day .:

2009-07-20T08:10:00.005-05:00

"God is God. If He is God, He is worthy of my worship and my service. I will find rest nowhere but in His will, and that will is infinitely, immeasurably, unspeakably beyond my largest notion of what He is up to."

~ Elisabeth Elliot ~

:. loves .:

2009-07-16T13:23:00.006-05:00

I've heard this is good for the soul, so here goes:

My Current Loves

I love my little boys, no doubt about it!

I love the way Gavin likes to cuddle on my lap.

I love it when Gavin sings. He has perfect pitch . . . and a voice like an angel. You should hear him sing worship songs. OH.MY.HEART.

I love the way he sings 'Danke Schön' with Aunt Katie.

I love it when Liam sings like Bono. Hilarious.

I love everything that comes out of Liam's mouth.

I love his response when you say the words 'garden monkey' to him.

I love the way both boys say "fink" instead of "think". (I know, I know, that's one reason Gav goes to speech therapy twice a week. It's just DANG adorable!)

I love that both boys use the expression 'Oh my PEAS!!' So great.

I love it that every night when it's time to get jammies on, Liam has to do a few laps around the house NAKED.

I love all the moochies and hugs Gavin gives.

I LOVE my Special Time With Grandma days. LOVE them.

I love that Aunt Katie is teaching the boys the Gentlemen Do's and Don'ts.

I love that BROVER is coming any day!!

I love that my kids enjoy hanging out with Benny and me.

I love that my kids love each other.

I love that my kids love their Savior.

I love having a husband who walks with God.

I love having 33 years of marriage behind us. I think we've made it through all the hard stuff!

I love all the beautiful things Benny has made for me with his mad woodworking skills.

I love learning new things. Like where the country of Cabinda is located, or which country lays claim to Easter Island. (thanks, shower curtain map of the world!)

I love birds. No secret here. If you've ever held one in your hands, you know they are one of the softest creatures on earth. And most of them sing nicely.

I love history. I like hearing what has gone on before.

I love biography. I like hearing how people became who they are, and how decisions they made in the past took them to a particular future.

I love when the Spirit of God lights up your soul with truth.

I love that I don't have to be perfect to follow Christ.

I love knowing God pours out His grace on anyone who asks.

:. wow .:

2009-07-15T13:49:00.001-05:00

What a beautiful day! 77 degrees, in the middle of the day, in the middle of July, in the middle of Iowa. Normally in July, I wouldn't leave the comfort of conditioned air unless absolutely necessary, but it's windows wide open today! So it seemed like a very good day to go for a stroll.

BRILLIANT blue sky, not a cloud in sight. The sun was bright, yes, but a COOOOOL breeze evened everything out.

For the first couple of blocks.

By 38th Street, I was starting to . . . 'glisten'.

I HATE to sweat. HATE.IT. I know some people who love it, but honestly? I get really crabby when I'm sweaty and hot. And no one likes to see that.

And since I'm being honest here, I might as well tell you that before I'd even walked one block, my legs started to hurt. I suppose that means I need to exercise a bit more.

Hmmm . . . . maybe when the thermometer is sitting at 50.

:. crowned .:

2009-07-13T08:58:00.007-05:00

I had long been told that being a grandma is the greatest joy in life. I absolutely LOVED raising my girls, so I had no doubts that I would enjoy my grandchildren when the time came. Little did I realize that "enjoy them" would be the understatement of the century.

It's hard to explain, really. We've all heard grandparents say how fun grandkids are . . . and then add, "because you always send them back to their parents". (Implying, I guess, that they're only fun for awhile.)
While it's true that g.parents are usually free of the pressure of raising the g.kids 24/7, the joy they bring goes far beyond the fact that we aren't responsible for all the weighty aspects of their upbringing.

To me, the greatest joy comes from the humbling and awe-inspiring realization that these children are my heritage.

I was blessed with two very wonderful daughters. I am doubly blessed that my girls have grown into godly, amazing women (both of whom have married godly, amazing men. Quadruply blessed??) Knowing that my kids are living in obedience to their Savior is enough to let me die a happy woman.

And then along came the grandchildren.

How overwhelming the knowledge that our diligence in raising our own children has resulted in them raising their children 'in the nurture and admonition of the Lord'.
How exciting to know that our grandchildren will likely serve their generation according to the will of God.
When you're in the middle of raising kids, you don't really stop to think of the impact your parenting will have on future generations. (You're usually more worried about simply having the energy and wisdom to make it through the day.) For me, it really didn't hit me until Gavin was born, the great import of the years spent raising kids.

As usual, God says it best:

"Children's children are a crown to the aged." (Proverbs 17:6)

And while I don't exactly feel 'aged' just yet, I do agree that my grandkids are the icing on the cake of a very blessed life.

I received a forward awhile back, quotes from kids giving their definitions of grandma. One little boy said,

"A grandma is someone who is always waiting at the door for you to come over . . . because she doesn't have anything else to do."

mmmmm . . . . I love that.

[Ed. note: speaking of grandkids, we are currently taking bets on when Hulling Brother #3 will arrive. Winner gets to name him!!]

:. vogue, january 1935 .:

2009-07-11T16:42:00.003-05:00

I knew it! Canaries are always in style.

:. independent thinking .:

2009-07-07T17:30:00.004-05:00

Here's a little exchange Gavin and I had today:

Gavin: "I like the Yankees."
Me: "You do!?? Daddy likes the Cardinals."
Gavin: "I don't."

End of story.

:. you learn something new every day .:

2009-07-01T07:40:00.009-05:00

So, Benny and I found ourselves somewhere in the vicinity of Snookies last night. (You heard me.) We were stopped at a stoplight, and on the sidewalk next to us a woman was walking her pet. After doing a classic double-take, I rolled down my window and asked her what the animal's name was.
"This is Pippin . . . but I call her Pipsqueak." Pipsqueak looked something like this:Yes, Pippin was a horse. A miniature horse. I said, "So, it's okay to keep her in the city?"
To which she replied, "Yes. She's a service animal in-training."
Who knew?
Here's the official text from the Guide Horse Foundation:

The Guide Horse Foundation was founded in 1999 as an experimental program to access the abilities of miniature horses as assistance animals. There is a critical shortage of guide animals for the blind and guide horses are an appropriate assistance animal for thousands of visually impaired people in the USA.

In early experiments, Guide Horses have shown great promise as a mobility option, and people who have tried Guide Horses report that the Guide Horses perform exceptionally well at keeping their person safe. These friendly horses provide an experimental alternative mobility option for blind people. People who have tried Guide Horses report that the horses demonstrate excellent judgment and are not easily distracted by crowds and people.

Guide horses are not for everyone, but there is a strong demand for Guide Horses among blind horse lovers, those who are allergic to dogs, and those who want a guide animal with a longer lifespan.

Cool.

:. scarred .:

2009-06-29T08:13:00.003-05:00

I'm not a People magazine-type of person. I don't really care which celebrities are sleeping with whom, or who just went into rehab. And I certainly hadn't planned on posting about Michael Jackson. But a recent headline on Drudge jumped out at me, compelling me to blog.

It seems the people performing the autopsy on Jackson noted that without makeup, there was significant scarring on his face. That doesn't come as any great surprise, given all the plastic surgery. But I was struck by how that statement sums up the human condition.

We are afraid to show the world who we really are, so we carefully construct masks that keep everyone at a safe distance. Many of us have deep hurts, but we cover our scars with makeup; we don't want to appear weak or needy. Or we are simply afraid that we won't "measure up" to some standard or other that we have set.

Wendell Berry speaks of the "bloodied and the bewildered", a good description of many in our world. No one gets through life without some heartache, and where there is suffering, there will be scars. When will we learn to be transparent with our hurts? On the other hand, when will we learn to help those in need rather than judge them? (or worse, turn our backs on them?)

We are told to 'weep with those who weep'. We are told to 'bear one another's burdens'.
Let's be willing to remove the makeup, take off the mask, and be REAL with one another.

:. tenderized .:

2009-06-26T07:30:00.001-05:00

Awhile back, my little Katie bought me a meat tenderizer. For years I had used the handle of my heaviest knife to pound out a nice cutlet, so that was a thoughtful little surprise, indeed. My new heavy-duty mallet is a wonder!

I've been thinking lately about trials . . . and about suffering . . . and about all the hurts in this world. I have come to realize that repeated trials pound our hard, selfish hearts into something tender, something malleable.

Anyone with even a smidgen of human kindness will feel badly for someone facing cancer. A tenderized heart will go beyond feeling badly; a tenderized heart will understand the fear, will feel the 'aloneness' of the sufferer.

If you've never experienced the death of a loved one, you can still understand the pain of someone facing that loss. But once you've been there yourself, you never forget how much it hurts to have part of your heart torn away.

It is the dearly-bought difference between sympathy and empathy.

The Bible tells us that "the Father of mercies and God of all comfort" will comfort us in our afflictions. Out of love for His child, yes, but also "so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction."
As we persevere under trials, we begin to look more and more like the One who suffered for us all.

As long as we are on this earth, there will be trials.
It actually gives me comfort just to know there is a purpose for our suffering.

:. beauty .:

2009-06-24T08:00:00.006-05:00

"May the beauty of the Lord our God rest upon us."

Psalm 90:17

This verse jumped out at me the other day, and I can't stop thinking about it. What is beauty, anyway? And what does it look like to have the beauty of our GOD covering us?

Obviously, our culture has a twisted view of beauty. How many women are 5'8" and only weigh 102? How many men carry around a six-pack (that doesn't say 'Bud Light')?

We buy rogaine to turn back baldness, slim-fast to fight the battle of the bulge, cosmetics by the gallon, and don't forget the Spanx, ladies!

In other eras, and other cultures, curves have been/are actually 'in'. (Why, oh, why couldn't I have been born when Botticelli was painting?!?!)

So, what does God's 'beauty' look like?

To get an idea of that, first consider what God Himself looks like: holy, perfect, eternal. He is Life and Truth and Love. He is Comforter, Father and Savior.

To be covered in His beauty would be to know peace; to be filled with love; to experience joy. His beauty resting on us would soften our hard hearts; it would turn our eyes away from self; it would enable us to hear the cries of the wounded.

His beauty is everlasting. His beauty isn't subject to the world's shifting standards.

I think of Moses, who spoke to God face-to-face "as a man speaks with his friend". He always came away from those conversations literally glowing.

The beauty of our God resting on us would make us different.

:. return to ordinary .:

2009-06-22T08:15:00.009-05:00

Well, mommy and daddy are home, which means Gavin and Liam are where they belong. I know the boys had a good time at grandma's house, and then at Uncle Chris and Aunt Katie's. There is no doubt in my mind that they enjoyed themselves.

But oh my PEAS! did they miss their mom and dad! You may have read elsewhere that Gavin regressed as the week went on. It absolutely broke my heart to watch him slipping into autistic behavior, knowing I really couldn't do much about it. We cuddled, we reassured, we hugged, we sang. But we couldn't BE mommy and daddy. He knew where he belonged.

I've decided 'ordinary' is good. Routine is fine. There is comfort in the dailiness of life. So often we're not content with the small things in life; we want excitement and adventure. That certainly has its place, especially in the life of a Christ-follower (who is oftentimes called to step out of that so called 'comfort zone').

But in reality, isn't life mostly made up of ordinary, small, routine events? And aren't we called to be content wherever we find ourselves?

"Who despises the day of small things?"

Zechariah 4:10

I think we need to remind ourselves where we really belong.

:. if frankenstein were your father .:

2009-06-21T07:36:00.005-05:00

you would never have trouble with bullies.

(of course, you wouldn't have any friends, either.)

Happy Father's Day to all you daddies out there!

Friday in Ames!!!

2009-06-19T16:29:00.010-05:00

Katie and Chris here, filling in for mom. We had the absolute PLEASURE of having those boys today, as mom and pop were at the Parkinson's Conference ("Those who shake it together, MAKE it together!" We HOPE that's the theme for the conference).
Our morning started off early...thunder and lightning at 5:30 awoke us, so we were able to have conversations about thunder. Unka Chwis had to go to work, so Gav, Liam, and I headed to Cafe Diem for a morning muffin!

Yum!!

Gavin was sure hyper after his 16oz iced caramel latte! Kidding! It was Liam's.
Next, Katie had the BRILLIANT idea of walking just a couple yards down Burnett Ave to Ames' local FIRE STATION!!! I just KNEW the boys were going to go CRAZY when they were able to see a FIRE TRUCK UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL!!!!!

Welll...maybe not CRAZY...maybe...frightened beyond belief? Fireman Eric was SO nice and he even let the boys climb up on to the truck!!

Puttin' out fires!!!
yay. (can't you see the excitement in his eyes??)

Touchin' the hoses!!!
yay.

Fire Engine 1!! Good job, Mr. Gavin!!
Fireman Eric told us we could stop by anytime we're out on a walk. Maybe next time, we can mentally prepare ourselves for Fire Engine 1!

Making silly faces on the couch!

And of course, spending an hour at Target going up and down the toy aisle is NOTHING short of amazing!!!

(Em, just so you know, your boys are wonderful. They would pull out a toy, and put it back exactly where they found it when they were done. They didn't whine "I want this! I want that!" They were content as clams just looking. Good job, Mommy)

Next, we made a trip to Ames' local pet shop! Home of Howie Buckets!!! There he is, licking Liam's hand!

Bunnies!

And kitties!

Next, we got to sit out in the morning sun and watch the Ames trains! Never before have I been excited to hear that bell and see the gates drop! We were so close to an actual Thomas!!

...killin time until the next train. Ooh! A black bug! He died after Liam picked him up. Of fright? Or the fact that his internal organs were crushed... I guess I SHOULD have said, "Killin Time By Killin Bugs"

Summertime Love

Smile for the camera!

And joy to my heart, Uncle Chris got off work early, and we went out shopping for new soccer cleats!

Liam found some good ones!

In about 20 minutes, we'll be off to meet up with Gramma and Crappa at The Q'Doba for dinner!! Tomorrow morning, the plan is to head to the farmer's market and prepare for Mommy and Daddy's return! We miss you guys!

:. quiet before God .:

2009-06-18T13:21:00.006-05:00

I have a confession to make:
I haven't had a "real" quiet time since Sunday. Hhhmmm . . . those boys came Saturday night. I wonder if there's a connection? Sure, there's been some down-time, but when they were sleeping, I usually curled up on the couch myself. Dishes could wait, dusting could wait, reading the Word could wait.

It all came back to me this week, how BUSY a young mother is. Caring for children is one of the most draining jobs in the world. Pure joy, but very demanding. And looking back, I know I never was able to have a consistent quiet time until my girls were in elementary school. It wasn't until then that I felt well-rested, and a bit more the master of my days.

I am not down-playing the importance of spending time with God. But to all you mothers out there, know that He is quite aware of the work you do. He knows the busyness of your day. He understands that cuddling a toddler is just as much worship as singing praises. Caring for your family is an act of obedience, and it brings joy to the Father's heart.

[Ed. note: I'm turning my blog over to Chris and Kate for a couple of days. They've promised to carry on with the pictorial history of Gavin and Liam! Thanks, guys!]

:. things I will miss .:

2009-06-18T08:07:00.000-05:00

Well, today is the last day the Loves will be at my house. Uncle Chris and Aunt Katie are whisking them away to Ames tonight after dinner. Benny and I have an all-day Parkinsons' conference tomorrow. (Doesn't this family attend the most interesting events??) They get to spend two wonderful nights with the Saldanhas, and then Saturday afternoon MOMMY AND DADDY WILL BE HOME!!!

I am going to miss those boys terribly when they pack up and leave grandma's! I know I normally see them on a regular basis, but having them around 24/7 is absolutely the greatest thing on earth.

There are so many wonderful moments from this week.

I'm going to miss Liam's random and funny commentary on life. Here's a small sampling:

"I like eagles, but I don't like otters."

"Grandma! Stop singing! That's weird!

"GRANDMA! LOOK! THERE'S A SKUNK UP IN THE TREE!!"

(it was a squirrel)

I definitely will miss his goofy grin and loving heart. All those kisses he gives? Heaven. And next time you see him, be sure to say 'garden monkey'. Hilarious.
I'm going to miss Gavin's sweet, sweet spirit, and his precious pet phrases:

"My hair is short."

"Mommy and daddy are at Massachusetts."

(and when I asked him where he lived, he said, "Grandma's house".

I was actually going for 'Iowa', but, hey!)

"We don't want to make Mr. Liam cry!"

And yes, his hugs and kisses are out of this world. He told a funny joke last night at dinner. Liam was rolling a place mat up into a tube to make a 'tunnel' for his helicopter. Gavin watched him for a minute, then said, "Mr. Liam is making a peanut butter wrap!" And then guffawed, because that was a funny joke!

And I'm really going to miss the way he lines up his shoes and toys. I absolutely LOVE his quirkiness!

Gavin and Liam, you are the BEST boys in the whole wide world!!!

:. fun in the sun .:

2009-06-17T15:26:00.004-05:00

It's been a busy day around our house today! After a hearty breakfast, we made some plans. A forecast of 92 and sunny called for a day at the pool.
Not really sure what's happening here, but I'd say Liam is taking Aunt Katie's car for a spin. Sounds like a good idea to me.
Then it was off to ggb's house . . . she has awesome trucks to play with, and awesome little Fritzi, too. Always a good time!
Then, off to the pool . . . along with every other child in the greater DM area under the age of 9.
But we didn't mind! We slathered on the sunscreen, and headed straight for the water.

We spent a wonderful hour at the park, but I found it's pretty much impossible to snap pictures AND keep an eye on two swimming boys. But trust me, they had a BLAST. And we even saw our friend Lucy at the pool.
Then it was home for some pbj . . .
and a yummy peanut butter wrap:

That's about it for now. Both boys are napping, and Aunt Katie is coming over after work to hang out for awhile. Gpa is going to grill burgers for dinner, then I promised we could watch Punchinello.

Wow, is it ever AWESOME to stay at grandma's!!

:. thoughts at the end of the day .:

2009-06-16T22:34:00.003-05:00

No pics with this post. It's 11:00, everyone is asleep, and bed is where I'm headed.

At dinner tonight, we learned about "dinner conversation". (This was in response to the VERY loud siren sound that Liam is fond of making.) I explained what conversation means, and then I asked Gavin to tell us something he did today. He said, "I rode on an elevator". Which he had, because we went to visit great grandma Jean.
[grandma's apartment? one word: BREAKABLES. But don't worry, mommy, nothing was broken!]
So then it was Liam's turn for conversation, and he said, "I played with doggies." Which actually were some of the breakables mentioned above.

And as I was getting Liam stripped down for his bath tonight, I mistakenly called his 'pee-pee' his 'pee-wee'. He thought that was the funniest thing EVER . . . and of course kept repeating it the rest of the evening. (along with yelling 'SEA LION', which made no sense to me, but he thought it was hysterical!)

After the bath, Gavin requested more conversation . . . so we sat (jumped; those boys rarely sit still) on the bed and chatted. It somehow evolved into what they want for their birthdays, so we'll have to work on that some more.

On tap for tomorrow: a visit to great grandma Barb (and Fritzi!), and if weather permits, a trip to the wading pool. (Liam already told me the fountain scares him.)

Laying with those Joys Of My Heart tonight, listening to them giggle and chatter as they were winding down, cuddling and singing with them, I thought my heart would burst. God has given me so much . . . and those boys are the epitome of His goodness and grace. They are so sweet and beautiful and loving and funny. I have been so blessed the past few days to have them here; there is nothing that compares with those angel faces.

:. back to the "new house" .:

2009-06-16T13:45:00.003-05:00

Took the boys over to their house this morning for awhile. Thought they'd enjoy the change of scenery, and playing with their toys.

Of course, the first thing Liam wanted was his targ.

So, Gavin played with daddy's goggles.

and Liam cried because he wanted daddy's goggles:

which he got to wear (after an appropriate amount of time so he could learn 'sharing'):

Then, grandpa figured out the TiVo, so everyone could enjoy some Super Why!

And just look at what we found hanging from Gavin's tent bed!

We love you, mommy and daddy! We miss you, too!!

:. after a good meal and a good pipe .:

2009-06-16T08:30:00.003-05:00

Well, third time's the charm . . . as soon as I put the boys to bed, they were OUT like Fred Thompson in a presidential race. Either the novelty of staying at grandma's has worn off, or mowing the lawn and cleaning out gutters wears a guy out.

They took a nice, refreshing bath before bed,

and really enjoyed the new bath toys.

Well, let's say LIAM really enjoyed them. The little guy has trouble with hoarding.

(But don't worry about Gav; he holds his own. He knows exactly how to push his little brother's buttons.)

Breakfast this morning was pure joy. Sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying a waffle (Liam) and an apple (Gavin), listening to Jon Foreman. Is there anything sweeter than hearing Gav sing "Holy, holy, You alone are true . . . "??

I think not.

At this moment, they are off on an 'adventure' with Katie. (Going to the post office to buy stamps. Anything is an adventure when you're under age 5.)

And in other news, I saw my favorite Indian endocrinologist yesterday. Seems my Grave's Disease is still at bay. Perhaps I won't need to go radioactive after all.

Thanks, Anuj! But really, thanks, God.